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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26468404">Good Excuses</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuckinqueen/pseuds/fuckinqueen'>fuckinqueen</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Death Note (Anime &amp; Manga)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, But Near has to Feel Kinda, Creepy Near, He hides them, How Do I Tag, Jealous Near | Nate River, Kinda, Lol the boys…, M/M, Matt's a dork, Maybe Emotions Suck, Near has Emotions, Near has an Automatic Blank-Face, No Beta, No slow burn doesn't mean anything, OOC, Relationship Issues, Slow Updates, Stubborn Mello | Mihael Keehl, Trouble-Makers, Trust Issues, Unhappy/Cliffhanger Ending, We Die Like Men, Who knew Near makes noise?, cliffhanger ending, indefinitely, lol xd, long chapters, no slow burn, oh well, whadda ya gonna do?, when i get there</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 08:47:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>19,057</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26468404</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuckinqueen/pseuds/fuckinqueen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Near realizes he has feelings for Mello and has no idea how to express them, so he does all he can. Finally, Mello kisses him out of pent-up frustrations. Near decides he wants more, and they fall into an endless mistake.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>(Past) Matt | Mail Jeevas/Mello | Mihael Keehl, L/Yagami Light, Matt | Mail Jeevas &amp; Mello | Mihael Keehl, Mello | Mihael Keehl/Near | Nate River</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Where Do We Begin?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/user_null/gifts">user_null</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Near creeps up to Mello, his interest peaking when the boy starts bobbing his head to music blaring out of his headphones.

</p><p>"What're you listening to?" Near whispers. Mello screams, and Near's already-large eyes grow bigger. "Sorry! Sorry, Mello, I didn't mean it!"

</p><p>"You!" Mello yells, getting up, his headphones and the music still playing now forgotten. "I'll get you, idiot!" He charges Near, and Near yelps. "I hate you!" He manages to snag the white-haired boy's shirt, and tugs him up.

</p><p>But before he can start smacking Near, a pale, thin hand grabs his free wrist. "Mello," the owner of the hand says sternly, "what's going on here?" Mello looks up at the sixteen-year-old L, who's currently looking disappointedly at him.

</p><p>"L! Near was messing with me! He deserves it." Near grins at him, nodding. "See? Even Near agrees!" L sighs.

</p><p>"Yes, but Mello, we should both know that Near agrees to everything you say." <i>Not true!</i> Near thinks indignantly, <i>I wouldn't agree if he said… uh… fine. I agree to everything he says. He's just so cool.</i>

</p><p>True, even at nine, Mello has a demeanor around him that makes Near realize he'll always be cool.

</p><p>"Whatever. Just make him stop, L." Mello huffs. L smiles 

</p><p>"Drop him then, Mello." Mello complies, and Near falls to his knees. "Thank you. Near, whatever you did, it's not good for his reputation to make him scream liike that." His eyes twinkle. Near giggles. "Run off now."

</p><p>"Bye L, thanks L!" He calls over his shoulder as he scampers away. L waves, but as soon as Near's out of his sight, - and hiding in the trees nearby - he turns towards Mello, who knows better than to leave before L dismisses him.

</p><p>"Okay, Mello? Please don't hit anyone, first of all, and second of all, Near looks up to you. It you keep treating him like this, something'll happen that <i>will</i> affect you."</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>…</p>
</div><p>And now, eight years later, it still hasn't. But it's affected Near plenty.

</p><p>Now he doesn't agree with Mello all the time, or even look up to him. He doesn't smile or giggle, and he definitely doesn't do it in front of people if he does it at all. Actually, he's made something. He calls it The Blank, Blank, or ABF, short for Automatic Blank-Face.

</p><p>What it does, is it creates a mask of no emotions on his face. It happens automatically when he's upset; it didn't used to, but now it's habitual, and he keeps it on around people. It saves him from his emotions time and time again, and has never failed.

</p><p>But, of course, it doesn't stop him from feeling it all inside. Normally, to cope, he acts it out with his toys, or does a puzzle, or stacks cards or dice. Sometimes dominoes, but that's a new thing. He's currently in the middle of collecting enough.</p><p>Sometimes, he feels like he stopped aging mentally when he created The Blank, which was five or six years before. In fact, he fears it. Or, as he prefers saying instead, he <i>ponders</i> it.

</p><p>Back to the matter at hand, though. Yes, it affects Near. And Near and The Blank, and still feeling feelings inside, it all leads to the matter at hand.

</p><p>Near has developed feelings for Mello and doesn't know what to do with them.

</p><p>More or less, Mello still hates him and Near "doesn't care." (In truth, it used to not matter. Now it's very painful.)

</p><p>As of nowadays, Near has settled to restlessly stacking things, which makes him upset because then his room's messy, so then he has to clean it. And repeat.

</p><p>Right now he's cleaning angrily, placing his dice back into their tub one by one.

</p><p>"Near," L's soft voice comes from the other side of his door, "I know you don't let anyone in, but will you please come to my room?" Near crosses silently and opens his door slightly, blocking L's view inside with his body. "Hello Near." Near nods, slipping out and locking the door behind him with the key he keeps around his neck. The key luckily no one notices because his shirt is baggy and buttoned up to his throat. The chain hangs low, so no one sees it.

</p><p>L leads him to his own room, which is apart from Mello, Near, and Matt's rooms. Inside, the room is gray with a white ceiling, and stuff scattered everywhere. Candy wrappers on the nightstand, messy blankets, and a desk full of papers, a computer in the middle, on, with about six to twelve pages open. All of this explain who L is, on the inside. Messy but hard-working and sweet.

</p><p>"You've been hiding." L says flatly. Near blinks back to reality. "Why? You're my only worthy chess opponent." Near searches L's tired eyes, but they're become blank because of too many sleepless nights, probably in front of the computer screen.

</p><p>"I always win," Near points out. L sighs and waves him off. "You didn't bring me here to talk about chess. Get on with it."

</p><p>"No. Is it because of Mello? He always seems to… upset you lately." Near gives him a look that says, <i>uh-huh, keep talking.</i> "Well, you don't really get upset, as I've learned." A scrutinizing glance. "Fine. He seems to do nothing, but nothing else'd explain your behavior."

</p><p>"Please leave me alone. I'm trying out new things."

</p><p>"Oh… well, come to me if you need anything. Trust me, Near." <i>I do,</i> Near thinks, <i>don't you know that?</i> "Would you like to stay, Near? We could talk." L suggests. Near shakes his head.

</p><p>"No. Your room is too messy. I can't concentrate. I'll go. I might just sleep."

</p><p>Unfortunately, he never is able to make it to his room, because Mello comes barreling out of his own room, humming some kind of fast beat loudly.

</p><p>"Mello." Near says, holding up his hands to block Mello from running into him. "Watch where you're going, please." His heartbeat picks up involuntarily when he looks the blonde up and down.

</p><p>Ah, yes, the style Mello chose lately. When a couple months ago he bought black. And not just the black clothes that are relatively normal, no. He picked leather pants, black boots, and a black vest that ends short his stomach, but his pants are at his hips, so there's an even larger gap between it and the pants than there would be; his outfit. Plus his shoulder-length hair that he refuses to cut. (He probably will, to chin-length, since he's always complaining about what a nuisance it is.)

</p><p>"Hey! Near. Watch where <i>you're</i> going. I'm… and you're… ugh!" He stomps past Near with his hands balled up into fists, at a loss for a comeback.

</p><p>"Sorry, Mells." Near murmurs. Mello turns back around with his eyes wide.

</p><p>You can't - ugh. Fine, I'm done being upset with you for today. Get in your hanging out and 'Mells' now, because I'm tired. Just today." Near smiles inwardly. <i>Yay,</i> he thinks.

</p><p>"Where were you going?" He asks, catching up to Mello. Mello starts walking, so Near follows him. "Surely you were going somewhere? You were moving like a bullet."

</p><p>"Well, I was going to go out, but that isn't happening now." The look he gives Near is a mixture of interest and disgust. <i>Ouch. That hurts.</i>

</p><p>"I thought you weren't going to hate me today?" Mello scoffs.

</p><p>"I don't <i>hate</i> you. I said I was done being upset with you today, not done upset with you. I don't hate you." He smiles briefly.

</p><p>"You're upset with me? Why?"

</p><p>"I don't know, idiot! Just shut the hell up. You and your dumbass questions. Yet you can't even feel. Not even when I tried - you know what? Nevermind." Near touches his arm lightly, as soft as a feather, but Mello still jerks away like he's been burned.

</p><p>"You tried to make me feel?" <i>I can feel!</i> Near yells in his head. <i>All humans feel! I just can't, or… I'll do something bad.</i>

</p><p>Mello nods. "Yes. Once. Remember when I was fourteen and you were thirteen, and I asked you if-"

</p><p>"If I wanted to play a game with you, and then…"

</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>…</p>
</div><p>"Near! Hey, Near? Can I tell you something? Or something?" Mello sits down next to Near in the grass and slips his hand into Near's. "Good job winning the game. At least I won second. Matt was so distracted." He bites his lip, a blush covering his face, and he lets his hair - which he is still growing out at that moment - fall over his eyes.

</p><p>"Yes, Mello?" Near says blankly, looking at the flustered older teenager next to him. "Why are you stalling?"

</p><p>"I'm not stalling, idiot!" Mello snaps. <i>Fuck,</i> he curses, <i>be kind. And don't be weird. Eugh, his hand is so soft… but kinda nice. If he'd just stop being an ass and making it limp! So cold, too…</i> "Sorry," he apologizes, "I just… okay, so what would you do if somebody liked you like, in that way?" His face feels like it's on fire, but Near doesn't seem to nice, instead staring out into the trees.</p><p>"Does someone like you? And you need my advice? Well, I'm thirteen, and have no idea what that feels like, but if it were me, I wouldn't care."

</p><p>"No, no one likes me. I was asking if anyone liked you, what would you do." Near looks directly at him, knowing in his gray eyes, but no other emotion. It chills Mello's blood for what's inevitably coming. But at least he'll let Near feel something. Even if his ego and pride will be in pain whenever he sees Near for months. <i>And</i> even if someone other than Matt knows he's gay.

</p><p>"As I said, I wouldn't care. And the person could live with their feelings. Even if it becomes too much, as long as they don't invite me to play a game with them, I'll be out of their way." Bad news; it hurts, and Near stays emotionless.

</p><p>Mello rips his hand away from Near's and stands up, his hands balling into fists.

</p><p>"You!" He screams. "You! I hate you! What the hell is your problem? What in the goddamn hell is your problem?!"

</p><p><i>What a picture,</i> he thinks distantly as his rage takes over the front of his mind, <i>me, standing over him, screaming with my hands up in fists, like I'm gonna punch him. Wait, am I gonna punch him?</i>

</p><p>No, he ends up kicking Near instead, after shoving him to the ground because Near had said; "I don't have a problem. I just don't feel that way." The stupid thing is, Near doesn't even try to get back up, much to anger Mello more.

</p><p>"Fuck you! I was <i>trying</i> to tell you something!" He kicks Near again, right in the ribs, and Near starts coughing. "I'd be surprised if that even hurt. Are you even human? Fight back, dammit!" 

</p><p>Near shakes his head. "Not worth it," he wheezes.

</p><p>Mello lets out an enraged yell and kicks Near again. He knows it's an extremem overreaction, but he had been planning this for a long time. Weeks at least, if not a month or two.

</p><p>"Mello! Mello!" Arms wrap around his waist from behind him, trying to pull him back, but Mello breaks free and spins around to see Matt. "Sorry, dude, but L's on his way. You can't just be screaming profanities out in the open. You can punch me if you  want, but I'm not going to react eith-"

</p><p>Mello punches him in the jaw, and as soon as he does, he starts crying. Matt nods, holding his arms out. Mello steps into them and wipes away the blood dripping down Matt's lower lip.

</p><p>"It's okay, Mells. I get it. Boy, that must hurt. It's okay. I love  you, bro. Come on, let's go inside, maybe play a video game and eat chips or… oh, chocolate!" Matt just holds him for a moment longer as L comes out and picks up Near, who still seems indifferent about the situation.

</p><p>"Yeah, let's go Matt. But can I pick the video game?" Mello sniffles. Matt grins. "Sorry. About the punch, I mean. I coulda slapped, but…"

</p><p>"Ya' didn't wanna seem weak. Don't worry dude. I gotcha. Oof, you shoulda seen how you looked from my angle, kicking and screaming, but your hair flying around your face so beautifully. I think that may be my new favorite red." Mello scowls. "Just playing! Oh, look, there's Watari. Ha ha! No, you do not need to look at that, come on."

</p><p>"I wanna see!" Mello complains, but Matt just shakes his head.

</p><p>"Nuh-ho you don't. Come <i>on.</i>"

</p><p>"Uuuughhh…" Mello groans, putting  all of his weight onto his best friend's shoulder as they go back inside.</p><p>About a week later, they kissed  for the first time. Him and his best friend, forgetting Near altogether.

</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>…</p>
</div><p>Mello shakes out of his memory, and sees Near looking at him with is goddamn irritating face and his stupid idioticness… the worst part is that Mello's breath falters. <i>Lingered too long in the feelings.</i> He tells himself.</p><p>"Ew! Near!" He makes a face as Near starts to lift his shirt over his head. "Ugh, I did not want this in my head all day."

</p><p>"See it?" Near asks, his voice muffled by his shirt. "The scar? The silvery skin?" And yes, amidst the way-too-pale skin, is even paler skin. A spot on Near's ribs.

</p><p>"Oooh, I did that… did it hurt? Who am I kidding probably not. Or yes. Yes. You are human. Er… I'm dumb can we just go eat chocolate?" He walks away, facepalming himself the whole time.

</p><p>"Mells, where did those feelings go?" Near asks softly, catching up once again. Mello walks faster, glaring ahead of him.

</p><p>"Somewhere. They're gone now. Just leave it alone."

</p><p>In the very large kitchen, Mello grabs three things; a chocolate bar, some of L's ice cream, and chocolate syrup. He opens the chocolate bar and holds it between his teeth as he grabs a spoon all while pouring the chocolate syrup in the ice cream at the same time.

</p><p>"I thought I heard you, Mello. Always the multitasker. Do you need a bowl for that ice cream, or are you going to eat it like that?" Mello gives Watari an annoyed look and points the spoon at the tub of ice cream. Watari sighs and nods. "Nobody in the house has healthy eating habits. Besides you, Near." Near nods in return.

</p><p>"And besides you, Watari."

</p><p>Mello pauses on his way to the couch. Was that a change in Near's tone? Still monotonous, but some kind of lightness pressing through it.

</p><p>"Near," Mello says around the chocolate bar, "come 'ere pleash." Near obediantly follows him to the couch, where Mello sets everything down and turns toward him. "If I didn't eat like this, I'd be pissed all the time. More pissed, that is. Uhhh… was my confession all those years back that dumb?" He knows it's dumb to keep prying, but maybe he's attention deprived in that way. He has Matt, yes, but that fling ended some time ago. Not that they don't share random kisses sometimes that normally knocks the other out of a headspace.

</p><p>"No. It was adorable. And sweet. And very heartwarming. But it might've done better now than then." <i>What the wha…?</i> But more lightness. "I turned you down because I couldn't do it. I'd've hurt you a lot more that."

</p><p>"Can we please try for today?" The words come rushing out of Mello's mouth before he can process them, and he shoves ice cream into his mouth to silence himself. "Nevuhmind." He adds a piece of chocolate to the mix - an impossible task, but he does it - and chews it all slowly, leaning back and staring at the blank TV screen in front of him.

</p><p>"I don't see why not. But only if this is like a date and not like we're together." Mello flushes red. "Don't choke."

</p><p>"Not choking," he swallows, "I'm probably gonna mess up, though. Ehh… okay. I've sincerely never been on a date. Not an official one, at least."

</p><p>Near puts his face in his hands and leans forward as his body convulses a couple of times. Mello gets up and stands there helplessly, his hands outstretched. Near looks up with a… devilish? look in his eyes. He gets up and walks into Mello's space, into Mello's arms.

</p><p>"Mells," he teases, "I was just trying not to laugh. No need to get so worried about me." He half-smiles, his whole demeanor relaxed. Mello gawps down at him, not knowing what to do with his hands. "Relax." Near whispers. "And can I try the ice cream? Yes, I like chocolate every once in a while. Even if it's a crazy amount."

</p><p>"Who are you?" Mello asks incredulously. "I don't even know you anymore. If this was how you'd have acted back then, I woulda kept trying." Near steps back, all amusement erased from his eyes.

</p><p>"I'm Near still. But I'm Near, your first date. Please try not to upset me." Mello nods, still wary, and sits down. Near sits next to him. "Ice cream!" He demands quite childishly and adorably.

</p><p>"Okay, okay." Mello takes a deep breath, grabbing the spoon, scooping some ice cream on it, and feeds it to Near awkwardly  "Stop laughing at me!" Mello hisses when he notices Near's body doing the weird convulses again.</p><p>"Mm nu lahing ahu!" Near protests. "Dis ish good. Why… mmm… do yu eat so much chocolate?" Mello growls under his breath.

</p><p>"Because it calms me, and because I love it. Why the hell did you agree to my idiotic suggestion?" Near falters, and his face falls blank. 

</p><p>"Because, Mello, some of us have feelings too. Now, it's my turn. Give me the spoon, please " Mello gives him the spoon, inwardly fretting that Near'll shove it down his throat. But Near just feeds him ice cream gently, his gaze lingering kind of wistfully on Mello's lips. "Comeplete truth? You're extremely good-looking. And I don't even know what to do about it. After this day is done, you're probably going to be in complete hell."

</p><p>"Complete truth… hm. Does that mean you'll stalk me?" At Near's lit up expression and wide eyes, Mello shivers. "Uh… okay, creepy. Mhm. Complete truth? Not sure you're helping the 'no more feelings' case." To that, Near shrugs.

</p><p>"Let's go do something else. I'm bored " Near grabs Mello's hands in his own and brings them to his face, brushing his lips along the knuckles. Mello's blue eyes grow big, and he grimaces when Near tilts his head to the side and smiles like a lunatic.

</p><p>"S-sure. What?" Mello gulps. "We could… er… uh…"

</p><p>His lack of ideas is how they end up running around the house doing random things. Starting to watch a movie in Mello's room, but Mello got mad and threw a pillow at Near, and that started a pillow fight, which ended with Mello pinning Near down on his bed. Then they tried to play a card game, but Mello tossed his cards in the air and stomped on them when they fell. Then they tried to sit and talk, but Near got bored again.

</p><p>Finally, they're out on the balcony that connects all three of the teen's rooms together.

</p><p>"Nice sunset," Mello comments tiredly. Near nods. "Today's ending. And I'm wondering if this may signify me going to hell as you stalk me."

</p><p>"Perhaps. And it will end, the stalking," Near promises, "because… well, either I'll give up, or you'll give in. Probably the former." <i>Hopefully the former,</i> Mello thinks. "I love your hair long. Like, how long it is now. Please don't cut it."

</p><p>Mello laughs. "Maybe not. But it's always in my way. Anyway, I'll let you enjoy it for longer. Oh, come on, it's almost… uh, let's just go through my window."

</p><p>They crawl through his open window and out the door, and when they're outside of his room, Mello gives his last smile.

</p><p>"'Night, Near. Even if it's not officially nighttime yet." Near nods, but his face twists into an uncomfortable, upset, depaired mix.

</p><p>"'Night, but Mello, can you please at least-" And it's like a wall appears before Mello's face, and he smacks into it. Near's face goes blank immediately.

</p><p><i>"Please try not to upset me."</i> It makes more sense now. He was upset. So his face went blank.

</p><p>As Near turns around with a "Nevermind," Mello has an idea; a last ditch effort to get one more look at open Near.

</p><p>"Near. Wait." Near turns back around. Mello walks the few steps away, and puts his hands on Near's shoulders, shaking him while speaking. "I fucking hate you, Near."

</p><p>"I-" Mello then cups Near's face in his hands and kisses him. Not roughly, but gently, because they were saying goodnight, so it's a goodnight kiss.

</p><p>"I hate you. You fucked me up." Mello chokes out when he pulls away. He feels like he'll die on the emotion trying to press itself in his throat. "You may have your blankness as a shield, and I have my anger, but we both let go  And this is what I really feel: I still hurt from your rejection then. I wish I punched you instead of Matt, because you deserve it. And thank you for today… and that kiss."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Early Morning Breakfast</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Heyyy! Welcome to the Good Excuses verse! Maybe one day I'll explain it in depth. I know you probably were expecting some kind of welcoming note last time, but nope! So, you know, just… welcome. I can't wait to make a story for and with you.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Matt!" Mello yells, flinging open the door to his best friend's room. "Today sucks!" He wrinkles his nose at the cigarette smell filling Matt's room. "Open the window, idiot." Mello mumbles, holding his breath as he makes his way over to the window and yanks it open. "Ah… fresh air… now! Pay attention to me, ya' bastard!"

</p><p>Matt laughs. "Uh-huh, will do your royal highness. Why does today suck?" He asks without looking up from his phone; probably playing a game. "Had a fling with an asshole?"

</p><p>"No, dumbass, that was last time." Mello rolls his eyes. "No, now it's Near. Listen to this! And look up." He snaps his fingers under Matt's nose.

</p><p>"Fine," Matt sighs, "what do you want?"

</p><p>"First, I must say this: STOP SMOKING IN YOUR ROOM!" Matt's eyes, sheltered behind his orange-tinted goggles, widen and he rushes forward to shush Mello.

</p><p>"Well, shut the hell up about it!" He hisses.

</p><p>"'Kay," Mello shrugs smugly. "Anyway, I was coming out of my room humming as loud as possible, trying to see how loud I could go, and Near just popped up. I told him I was done being upset with him and that I was tired - shouln't have stayed up so late last night - so I let my guard down, and we ended up going on this pretend date and then we fed each other ice cream, and I'll bet L will be mad at me beacuse it's still out there, and then we did other stuff, and then I KISSED HIM!"

</p><p>"Uh… excuse me?"

</p><p>So Mello explains slower and in fuller detail, Matt nodding occasionally. "…and then I kissed him… I kissed him…" His jaw drops.

</p><p>Some stupidly unnecessary images pop into his head, like ones of Near and him kissing, and how maybe Near would sound in bed, and… well, all stuff that he'd pushed away a long while ago.

</p><p>The feel of lips on his knocks Mello out of his thoughts, and he kisses Matt back fervently.

</p><p>"Woah, dude, I was just trying to stop you thinking about him." Matt picks up his phone again and his head goes back down.</p><p>"Well, maybe I still am," Mello argues. "So please, Matty." Matt sighs. "At least when we're talking can you put the damn phone down?" Mello knocks it out of Matt's hand.

</p><p>Matt sits on his bed, pouting at Mello. Mello grins, sitting next to him, and swinging his legs over his friend's.</p><p>"What could you possibly want, Mello?" Matt teases, patting one of the blonde's knees. "Could you in any way possibly want a distraction?"

</p><p>"Wow," Mello jokes back, "you guessed it! And yes, a distraction that isn't heading out at this low hour and convincing some guy to have sex with me, just to distract myself. I could get an STD." <i>Actually, a valid worry…</i> Mello thinks, frowning slightly. "So… anything in mind?"

</p><p>"Mello, I only do this because you look like a girl, you fucking gay." Matt sighs, pushing his goggles up onto his head. Mello laughs.

</p><p>"I know. That's what you told me the first time we kissed. 'Cause you're not gay. Noooo, you're straight." Matt shrugs.

</p><p>"Not everyone in this house can be gay. You're gay, Near's apparently gay, or at least bi, L's gay, and I dunno about Watari, because he never dates. Unless if he does…" Mello rolls his eyes.

</p><p>"You're too busy playing video games to pay attention. I think maybe he does, but he hasn't in a while."

</p><p>"Speaking of video games!" Matt wraps an arm around Mello, to reach for the controllers resting on his bed, connecting to a video game set across from it. In this move, he ends up about an inch from Mello's face. "Have I ever told you how beautiful your gorgeous blue eyes are?" He whispers. Mello pushes him.

</p><p>"Yes, every time you want to play a game. Fine, dumbass, miss out on this. But I'm game. S'long as I don't have to move, and I can fit dstract myself for a moment more." 

</p><p>"Sure. Why not." 

</p><p>Mello wraps a hand around the back of his friend's neck, fingers tightening in his hair, pulling his lips down towards his.

</p><p>And the scene changes. Suddenly, it's white hair his fingers are tangled in, and the soft, sweetened lips that taste faintly of chocolate that belong to Near. 

</p><p>"Mello! Are you sure this isn't distracting you more?" Matt frowns at him, shoving him away. "I'm kinda confused. So… Near? This is bad… uh… Excuse me." Matt gets up to turn on the TV, shaking his head while glancing back at Mello with a curious and confused expression.

</p><p>Mello crosses his arms over his chest, scowling. "What happened?"

</p><p>"Uh… don't go all rage on me, Mells… Uh… you said Near's name?" Mello gets up from the bed incredulously.

</p><p>"No. No. No, I didn't. Well, probably. Bitches!" He curses at no one in particular.

</p><p>"L-let's just play video games, and promise me you actually won't go out and be reckless with someone you don't know?" Code for: don't go out fucking someone else because you're mad.

</p><p>"Fine. I'm gonna beat your ass."

</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>…</p>
</div><p>Near had walked into his room slowly, his mind reeling inside. And as soon as he closed the door behind him, he went into destructive mode; kicking the dice tub over, scattering the cards he has all around the room, tossing his toys in the air and letting them fall on the ground with satisfying thuds. And when he starts hearing yelling about "Killing those bastards", and "you shot me"s, in both Matt and Mello's voices to the left of him, in Matt's room, he had curled up into on the floor in the corner, eyes wide and unseeing.

</p><p>He had wanted Mello to kiss him so bad, but as soon as it happened, he couldn't. He just couldn't handle it. And now he wants to scream and scream and scream until he can't anymore.</p><p>"Near," he whispers to himself, "Near calm down. You knew this would happen. Why would you do this to yourself? Calm down. You need to be calm. Yelling won't help. Trashing your room certainly won't help. Nothing'll help… you can do nothing. Just calm… calm…"

</p><p>"Matt! Ma-att! Hey, dumbass, over here! I can't believe I…" Near's eyes tear up when he hears Mello's voice so clearly. <i>"I can't believe I…" what?</i> Jealousy spikes through Near's whole being when he imagines Mello spending time with Matt instead of him. He knows they're friends, but what if…

</p><p>"Near…" Near licks his dry lips. "Calm it. This won't fix anything. Anger is a shield to sadness. Let out the sad or you'll stay being angry. Jealousy is natural. Just calm the hell down."

</p><p>He takes deep breaths, and smiles when he remembers how Mello's mouth had tasted; sweet and chocolatey. Now he licks his lips for an entirely different reason.

</p><p>He wants more. He needs it. Mello gets him. Mello had gotten him in one day. He wants Mello.</p><p>Tracing his lips, Near begins to laugh, which is something he hasn't tried for months, maybe years. It comes out awkward, but it's worth the endorphins.

</p><p>"Matty!" Comes another yell from Mello, only this one is amused. Then his own laugh, bright and loud. Definitely much better sounding than Near's.

</p><p>A pang of jealousy shoots through Near, so he frowns. <i>I can't… I…</i> 

</p><p>"Calm down," Near murmurs to himself as he gets up and sits on his bed, pulling his soft blanket over himself and turning on the TV, even though he knows he won't actually watch what's on. No, he has some creepy ass planning to do.

</p><p>The next morning, Near gets up early. After staying up late. Normally he'd stay in his room all day for that, but not today. In fact, normally even if he didn't get up early, he wouldn't go out of his room until he was hungry, which is normally in the mid-afternoon.

</p><p>Near walks out of his room with a tiny yawn, his eyes drooping more than usual. He seems to float downstairs, and makes zero noise that's any percent loud enough for anyone to hear.


</p><p>Looking at the clock in the living room, Near sighs quietly when he sees it's past 8:00 in the morning, and even then, he had gotten up two hours beforehand.

</p><p>Sudden noise distracts him from his contemplation to either go back upstairs to his room, or stay down here like a ghost, just moving from room to room aimlessly. The noise comes from the dining room that no one ever seems to use, and it's the sound of voices. Laughing. And a particular laugh that sets him on edge. Mello.

</p><p>Near walks silently over to the doorway that leads into the dining room, and his mouth drops open for the tiniest of seconds because  of what he sees there; everyone. Watari, Mello, Matt, L… with a couple spots empty of course, but one particularly in the fray. His own.

</p><p>"L, you just look like a frog!" Matt was saying. "And a monkey? Frog monkey!" L scowls at him good-naturedly. "Just look at the way he sits!" With his legs drawn up against his chest. Near has seen this position many times.

</p><p>"If I look like a frog, then you look like Snoopy from Peanuts. Just add a pilot hat, and there you go." L shoots back. Matt laughs loudly, and Mello, who's on one side of him, rolls his eyes with a smirk.</p><p>"Look at you, watching Peanuts. Is that what you're doing in your room? I thought you were jerking off." Mello teases. L turns a red, and Near mimics his same expression, a grimace with a little bit of unease. 

</p><p>"Stop being so vulgar, Mello!" Matt guffaws. Mello claps him on the back.

</p><p>"Boys, it'd be nice if we could spend this morning without arguing?" Watari adds with a smile. "It's nice when we're all gathered together, it doesn't really happen often."

</p><p>"Just twice a day!" Matt exclaims. Mello frowns at him.

</p><p>"Yes, but <i>some people</i> don't show up for days, because they're out of the house 'working.'" He says, sneering at L. Now L frowns.

</p><p>"Work, Mello. Something you don't understand." 

</p><p>"Whatever. But also, someone who spends his whole entire day in his room, just because… because what? Just so he doesn't have to feel happy or mad around us? Just because no one gets him?" Near notes the slight pause at the end, and imagines Mello filling in that space with an <i>Except me,</i> thought.

</p><p>"Near?" Watari pipes in. Near's face snaps to him, and sure enough, he's looking at him, but L, Matt, and Mello don't seem to notice; Mello only nods. Near fixes his face, which must've been looking hurt and confused.

</p><p>"Sorry," Near mouths to Watari, shaking his head and backing away. Watari sighs inaudibly, but his shoulders moving up and down heavily gives it away.

</p><p>"Stay." Watari says firmly enough for everyone to look at him, and then where he's looking at. Each of the rest of the three have many different expressions.

</p><p>L, a slight smile, and he gets partially up, letting his legs down.

</p><p>Matt, an amused, confused face, glancing between Near and Mello.

</p><p>…And Mello, who looks so fucking pissed, it almost blows Near away.

</p><p>"No." Near says. Well, whines, more like. To save himself, he lets the band snap into place, and then nods. "Fine." 

</p><p>"Good," L smiles warmly. "I'm glad." 

</p><p>"Heya, dude." Matt adds awkwardly. "Um…" He looks back at Mello, who still hasn't said anything, and his face is turning such a dark red that Near - who's forced to sit next to him - angles his whole body away from the object of his affection. Not really something he wants to do. "Hey! You sit kinda like L does!" Matt points out. Near looks down at himself, and at the position he always picks; one leg up and the other hanging down. His hand darts to his hair and twirls a lock of it nervously, tugging on it so hard that it stings and makes his eyes water. Not to be mistaken as the need to cry, which he doesn't. The Blank keeps him from that.

</p><p>"Yes, I do. Any animal identification for me?" Near asks calmly. Matt laughs.

</p><p>"Hmmm… actually, you're you. So… you're a Near." Near shakes his head, and when he looks at Mello again, he can't help but smile a little.

</p><p>Mello looks so taken aback by it, that he lets his hands relax out of fists.

</p><p>"No, I'm a Nate." Near corrects, referring to his real name. 

</p><p>"Oh… my… god! Yes! You're such a Nate! And let me guess, you lurk in rivers?" Near nods, pursing his lips to hold back another smile.</p><p>"I think he'd be a cat, as a spirit animal." L adds. Matt beams at him. "And you would be a dog, Matt. But I think cat because he's such a calm, composed person. And always warm since he's in his pajamas all day." <i>I suppose a cat fits. If they have incredible hissy fits. Which I'm sure they do.</i> Near thinks. "And Matt would be a dog because he's always so happy, and easily distracted. And he does seem to drool a lot."

</p><p>"I think you'd be a raccoon, L!" Matt says. "Because you stay up all night and hole up in your place, then search the fridge for sweet foods. Just something you can eat continuously. Also because you're messy."

</p><p>"And I think Mello would be a wolf." Near adds quietly. All eyes, blue, goggled, and gray turn towards him. "A black wolf with yellow or blue eyes. Maybe both. Because he's so… angry… and predatory. And very, extremely beautiful looking. And hot and stuff I guess." He mumbles the last part, looking down, because everyone just started gaping at him. But not Watari.

</p><p>Which shouldn't be surprising, because he had seen Mello and  Near feeding each other ice cream, and had secretly smiled to himself. He'd always known something was up with those  two.

</p><p>But Mello's particular expression is extremely upset, him being all blushy and hurt that Near would choose for him, but those feelings battling ego pride, and maybe a smile.</p><p>"Near…?" Mello growls. Near shrugs.

</p><p>"See? But don't get mad. I'm just voicing what everyone thinks. Besides, at least I don't think that." 

</p><p>"Uh… moving on," Matt laughs awkwardly, "Mello, you don't exactly look graceful at the moment."

</p><p>"<i>That's</i> what you're moving on to? I slept on your floor, what do you expect?"

</p><p>"Uh… I had nothing else to talk about."

</p><p>"Maybe we should just eat." L murmurs, looking down. "So… Near, want any…" 

</p><p>But Near had already walked away. In fact, he'd already made it to the stairs. Before he can make it up, though, someone - who is he kidding, Mello, duh - puts his hand on Near's shoulder, yanking him around.

</p><p>"Near, what the hell? Why?" He looks in Near's eyes intently. "It's not helping." Near raises an eyebrow.

</p><p>"Because I couldn't sleep. Please don't blame me for that. And then I heard voices. I was going to leave, but Watari wouldn't let me. And now I'm hungry." He looks beyond Mello, but Mello brings him back by handing him a chocolate bar out of nowhere. "Where…?"

</p><p>"I always have two with me. Although, I eat them before they melt, and then I'm out. You're welcome." He stomps away, swining his arms by his side.

</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>…</p>
</div><p>When he enters the dining room again, he's greeted by laughs. Matt and L are looking knowingly at each other, and it only pisses Mello off more.

</p><p>"You probably scared him away, Mello," L says, smirking.

</p><p>"This would the hashtag 'the pining is real'. You seem to try and not feel anything for him, but there you are, running back when he leaves." Matt mumbles to Mello under his breath.

</p><p>"I hate him." Mello snaps. Which is true, he just ran towards Near because he wanted to let him know to stop… and he totally forgot to do that. "You know what, I'm leaving, asshole." On his way he shoves his friend's head down and into his food, all like Professor Snape.

</p><p>He walks upstairs, and when he makes it, he sees Near, sleeping, lying across Mello's, his own, and Matt's doors. 

</p><p>Mello silently admires his position and face with his lips pursed.

</p><p>His face is tinged pink, like he's too hot, but Mello knows better. It's probably because of the chocolate he gave him. Which is actually in one of Near's hands, held close to his chest, while the other hand is stretched out in front of Mello's door. Mello would say it's cute, but… no.

</p><p>Back to his face, though. His mouth is slightly open, and now that Mello thinks about it, he can hear Near lightly snoring. And his hair is messed up and flopped to the side, exposing his only half-closed eyes, where Mello can see a slight bit of gray below his eyelids. 

</p><p>"Near," Mello sighs, walking towards the sleeping boy, "I'm gonna have to move you." He swears that, when he hears his voice, Near smiles. "Fine, then."

</p><p>He starts by grabbing the hand that's in front of his own door. <i>Huh. Still feels the same,</i> Mello notes distantly to himself, busy focusing on hefting Near up, who probably actually isn't this heavy, but because of the dead weight, feels like he's 200 pounds. To help, Mello wraps his other arm around Near's waist, and Near mumbles a little, flopping the hand with chocolate in it over Mello's shoulder.

</p><p>"Near!" Mello hisses. "Uuuughh!" He manages to settle Near against his own door, but when he tries to open it, it's locked. "Hey! Near gets a lock and we don't? Well, apparently a lock with a key." He complains, studying the keyhole in the doorknob. "Whatever. I'm leaving you here then."

</p><p>"Please don't," Near's muddled voice comes, "that would hurt my back so bad… please don't. Just lie me back on the floor er somethin'." Mello almost smiles at the drunken-like quality of it. Which makes him wonder what Near would act like drunk. <i>Hmmm… like this, or more… weird?</i> Mello thinks. 

</p><p>He himself is actually someone who, when he is drunk, his previous feelings are intensified, yet then he doesn't hide them. So he never drinks when he's angry. And of course, he acts ridiculous when he's happy drunk. Like most happy drunks do. Most, not all of course.

</p><p>He probably shouldn't be drinking. Or thinking about drinking right now.

</p><p>"And why should I?" Mello sniffs dignifiedly, really just joking. "You were in my way, and others will probably trip over you."

</p><p>"You're the last room in this hallway," Near points out. Literally, his hand rising, and his finger pointing towards the ceiling, then at Mello. "Pleeease though…? So tired…"

</p><p>"No." Mello snaps. "You deserve it. Besides, I tried to put you in your room, but it's locked. And I dunno where the key is." Near giggles, a low, throaty, unused sound that reminds Mello of last night.

</p><p>Last night, when a weird rough, scratchy, lurching sound came drifitng through the wall on Near's side.

</p><p>"What is that? Is that Near?" Mello had asked. Matt laughed.

</p><p>"Yeah, that's what he sounds like when he's jerking off to the thought of you." Mello's mouth dropped open.

</p><p>"Matty!" But had made him laugh when he mimed jerking off.

</p><p>"That was you last night? Laughing? I thought you were dying!" Mello exclaims now, glaring at Near.

</p><p>"Just let me sleep, Mihael." Near mumbles, clearly done laughing. Mello's glare intensifies.

</p><p>"No. You do <i>not</i> call me that. Now I'm gonna keep you up." Near glances at him from underneath his hair.

</p><p>"How?" 

</p><p>"By… playing loud music." Near laughs again, this time once.

</p><p>"I sleep through your music all the…" And then snoring. And deep breathing. And limp limbs.

</p><p>"Asshole." Mello grumbles, flipping him off before stalking into his room and slamming his door.

</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>…</p>
</div><p>Near blinks back awake when the door slams, so he slowly and painstakingly moves himself to a curled up position, where he eats the rest of the mostly-melted chocolate and throws the crumpled up wrapper at Mello's door.

</p><p>"I suppose I deserved that," he sighs to himself, "but he was the one who kissed me. Maybe I need to be more open? But I laughed in front of him!"

</p><p>Yeah, staying up past one and waking up at six is a bad idea.</p><p>When Near hears soft music coming out from Mello's room, he's surprised and pleased. "Hmm. Maybe he thinks I'm still asleep and is helping me. Well, good enough." Near falls back asleep, this time his mouth hanging all the way open as he relaxes.

</p><p>
  <i>"Near! Near!" Mello yells, waking Near up.

</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"What do you want, Mello?" Near asks crossly. Mello just smiles coyly, inviting Near into his room. Confused, Near gets up and follows, only to be hugged around the waist and kissed.

</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"That's all I wanted, Near." Mello purrs sweetly, his voice saying that's not all. Very well.

</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"That's not all I wanted though," Near whispers, shutting the door and bringing Mello in for another kiss. Mello laughs, pressing him up against the wall. Their bodies slot together perfectly.

</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"Near…" Mello moans. Near moans in answer, like a secret language saying "I need more."</i>
</p><p>"Mello?" Near wakes up saying. He looks around, and realizes he's still in the hallway, now dark, and that Mello's door is now open, with soft moonlight filtering through it. "Oh. Why is the door open?"

</p>
<p>"Because you're an idiot. And you woke me up." Comes a voice from inside the room.

</p>
<p>How'd I wake you?" To be honest, the dream is freaking Near out a bit; he's never had one before. No one to dream about. And now his heart's beating fast and he's longing for the touch Mello gave him in the dream.

</p>
<p>"You were saying my name. Nightmare?" At Mello's strained voice, Near knows Mello knows exactly why he was saying his name. But maybe he has the courteousness to save Near's ass.

</p>
<p>"I don't remember." Near lies, biting his lip.

</p>
<p>"Of course you don't remember. Whenever you feel anything like that, either you don't remember or you take it too far." Mello's tone is now angry and sarcastic. <i>Dammit,</i> Near sighs, <i>should've known better.</i>

</p>
<p>"If we're going to talk about this, I'll have to come into your room." Near replies.

</p>
<p>"Fine. Come on in."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So, I hope you enjoyed the chapter! I will probably post every two weeks or something, because I don't really have much time to write. So maybe I'll make myself a schedule.</p><p>I hope you love Mello and Near's antics, and their little chase, Near running to and Mello running away. I know it went a little fast last time, but I just felt like I needed to lay down the first layer of this work. It'll go slower now. So, Mello and Near, the opposites when it comes to affection (think about it; Near's embracing his feelings, and Mello's denying), shall keep coming along to your amusement.</p><p>#ThePiningIsReal though. Really. Just like Matt very hilariously said. STOP DENYING, MELLO!</p><p>I love comments and feedback, so give me both or just one; I don't care. Just remember that, since I won't be making much chapter notes.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Guilty Pleasure</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey again! I've managed to gather enough courage for another note. I hope you liked the last chapter, even though it was kinda embarrassing to write. I'll get used to Mello and Near sometime soon. I hope you like this chapter, where Near has some difficulties.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As soon as Mello says those words, he almost regrets it. Until he hears a loud grumble and then shuffling, when he laughs quietly to himself.</p><p>"Where am I supposed to sit? The floor?" Near complains when he makes it into the room. Mello snorts.

</p><p>"Yes. No, dumbass. The bed, duh." Mello blushes, and he's grateful for the dark. Near makes a humming noise, sitting on the bed as Mello said, so Mello sits up, crossing his arms over his chest, although that really makes no difference to the fact that he isn't wearing a shirt, like he always sleeps. "So, don't lie, what was it about? No, first, what was it like?"

</p><p>"Erm… like I was dreaming." At Mello's glare, Near shakes his head. "No, it was like it was real. It was real and just there. And the best thing ever. And then it ended. But in it, I woke up because you were calling me into your room, and when we got in there, you kissed me. You said that was all you wanted, but then I said 'That's not I want', and I kissed you again. You pushed me against the door, and then you… you…"

</p><p>"Noises? Did I moan your name?" Mello smirks, full-well knowing he's making Near uncomfortable. "Oh, yes, that's it, isn't it?"

</p><p>"Yes… and then I moaned too… and I woke up. But I never said your name." Near looks down, but snaps his head up. Mello's smirk grows, his own eyes trailing down. His eyes widen when he notices just how uncomfortable Near's getting. Just slightly through the pajama pants…

</p><p>"No, but you did in real life. I opened the door, and there you were. But you weren't moving, just looking blissfully happy." <i>And I looked down just like I'm doing now…</i> Mello adds, <i>stop. You're just horny or something.</i>

</p><p>I-I see. Can we stop talking about this now?" There's a slight whine in Near's voice, and Mello notices he's squirming around a little, focusing in the hips.

</p><p>"Do you even want to?" Mello purrs, leaning closer. Near tips his head back, shutting his eyes.

</p><p>"No," he admits, "but if you keep talking like you did in the dream, I'll be as confident as I was in the dream."

</p><p>"Well, what if I want you to act confident?" Mello leans even closer. Near lowers his head, his lips parting. He too leans closer. <i>Just one… just allow him one, just one kiss…</i> Mello promises himself.

</p><p>"If you do, then what are you waiting for?" Near asks softly. Mello laughs, grinning.

</p><p>"I want you to move first. I did it last time."

</p><p>"But last time wasn't… like this. It was soft. And very sweet. But that's not how I want this one to be." <i>Damn he's stubborn.</i></p><p>"Near. Either you're doing it or it isn't happening. How do I know if I want you if you can't even kiss me?" He doesn't want him. No matter how hard Near tries, it isn't happening.

</p><p>"Fine." Near inches closer, basically crawling on his hands and knees as to not fall over. "I-I don't know exactly how to do this… not the kissing, but…"

</p><p>"It'll come naturally."

</p><p>Near's hands - pretty cold, but luckily he has the long shirt covering most of them - cup Mello's face, and he leans closer until their lips meet, when he opens his mouth and presses harder. <i>Finally,</i> Mello smiles, <i>now it's my turn.</i>

</p><p>He, in turn, wraps his arms around Near, forcing the younger boy to sit in his lap. He moves his hands up, trailing along Near's back, and into Near's white hair, as he imagined when kissing Matt, but he realizes it's much more soft than he thought.

</p><p>Mello opens his own mouth, and he's astounded by the amount of pleasure it gives him; the sweet taste, the hot breath, the wet tongue - yes, tongue - and the soft lips. Near's hands move down Mello's throat, where they pause for the briefest of moments, and onto his chest, pushing Mello back and himself closer.

</p><p>"Mello, why?" Near breathes. Mello scrunches his face up, confused. "Why did you kiss me? Let me kiss you?"

</p><p>"Because. I wanted to."

</p><p>He pushes his lips back to Near's, wanting to hear noises like in the dream. Because that's something else he's imagined, but if the hair's softer, then how different is the noise?

</p><p>His wish is granted, but only when he tugs slightly on Near's hair. <i>Uhm, should that happen?</i> Mello thinks awkwardly. So he tries again, a little harder.

</p><p>"Mello," Near whines, pressing closer.

</p><p>Mello gently pushes him away, eyes widened. "Uh… sorry, but I'd like sleep now. And I'm done with that. You can stay, but stay the hell away from me, and if you have another one of those dreams, either wake me up and tell me then stay, or leave then."

</p><p>"Sorry about upsetting you." Near mumbles, moving off of Mello's lap. "I'll stay in the corner… of the bed not the room." Silence, for a little bit, and then; "Oh. Oh! Oh my god, I'm so sorry… I'm weird, and a creep, I know."

</p><p>"Whatever." Mello rolls onto his side and closes his eyes, wanting to be asleep as soon as possible. <i>I'm a fucking idiot. Must I be so pathetic? "Oh, I need Near to kiss me all the time"… fuck me.</i></p><p>The next morning, Mello gets up at an extremely early hour, fully awake as soon as he jolts up in bed. To find a very snuggly Near very nearly <i>purring</i> as he holds the pillow that Mello lent him in his arms. Until Mello realizes that it's light snoring. It very nearly sounds like purring though.

</p><p>He sighs, glares for a moment, and swings his legs out of his warm comfort and into the cold embrace that he's used to.

</p><p>He gets dressed in a quick fashion, lest Near wake up and start staring like a creepy lunatic. After he finishes, he travels down the stairs all while combing his hair out with his hands, and out the door that he went through when he injured Near. He winces at that hard memory.

</p><p>Mello leans on his arms, resting on his knees, trying to think about… everything. Anything. He feels alone in that moment; something he's not used to feeling. In fact, feeling crowded and awkward and uncomfortable is what he's used to.

</p><p><i>What if I settled? I might be able to be perfectly comfortable.</i>

</p><p>He ponders that thought for a long while, barely noticing or acknowledging the switch from that to <i>What if I settled with Near? Could I change him? I bet I could.</i> Mello smirks. <i>If I were with him, I'd change him. And I'd destroy him. That'd be fun.</i>

</p><p><i>Shit!</i> He shakes his head wildly, his blonde hair going into his eyes and making them water and sting. <i>You deserve that. How dare you think so… sadistically?</i></p><p>"But seriously," he says out loud to himself, "what the fuck are you doing to yourself?" It feels like he's stuck in a trap. Like he's stuck between lust, wanting, and freedom, space. And it feels like it's all confining him in a box that keeps shrinking smaller and smaller until he can barely breathe.

</p><p>Maybe he deserves that too. But what does Near deserve?

</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>…</p>
</div><p>When Near wakes up, he wakes up slowly, as slowly as possible, because he's in heaven, caressed with warmth, soft blankets and a pillow in his arms. But also because of nice dreams which include snuggling with Mello.

</p><p>"Where did he go?" Near asks, barely getting up, already knowing Mello left. He doesn't know how he knows. He just does. He flings an arm out to the side, and something white flutters to the ground. He jolts up and grabs it from midair. A paper. Folded in half.

</p><p>Unfolding it, he scans over the note and winces at how many swear words he finds in just barely skimming the surface.

</p><p>
  <i>Dear Near,

</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Well. If you're reading this, which you will, fuck you. How fucking dare you. I CAN'T SLEEP WITH YOU SNORING YOUR FUCKING ASS OFF LIKE AN ELEPHANT. A FUCKING ELEPHANT. Ha! I bet your cringing away from this because you're a goddamn freak who hates this shit. Swear words. Curses. Yeah, fuck off.

</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I'm doing this on purpose, though. Adding as much goddamn swear words as I can. But you can't skip, my little fucker. Don't be a dumbass. You must finish this note to get the point.

</i>
</p><p>
  <i>So, how did you sleep? I hope not as fucked-up as I slept BECAUSE OF YOUR STUPID ASS SNORING!! If this were read out loud somewhere where swear words aren't allowed, I'll bet there'd be a shitload of bleeps.

</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Now for the end and the fucking point: stop snoring so fucking loudly and maybe I'll let you sleep closer up to me.

</i>
</p><p><i>Love or hate (IDGAF), Mello</i>

</p><p>Near sits, stunned, and repulsed by how much swear words Mello even managed to get in there. Is this like his job or something?</p><p>He turns the page over, searches the room for about five minutes trying to find a pen, and then begins to write on the other side. When he's done, he sets it on the pillow gently, folded the other way, even though then Mello's note is visible.

</p><p>After, he goes to his own room as silently as possible, as it is way too early for people like Matt, who sleep in. When he actually goes in his room, though, he realizes that it's still messy.

</p><p>So he gets to work cleaning it.

</p><p>Sadly he can't focus. So he tries putting on some music on a very low level, and starts cleaning again. When putting his cards into their assigned deck, he gets the backs mixed up because he can't focus, and he's trying to remember which arrangement he had put his dolls before, while crooning soft apologies to them, but looking confused as doing it.

</p><p>Finally he realizes what's distracting him: the dream. He's still a little turned on, and the kissing didn't help. He doesn't know what to do in these situations.

</p><p><i>Should I take a shower? Or indulge, then take a shower?</i> He bites his lip nervously, sliding down to sit on the floot, still cradling some of his dolls in his arms.

</p><p>"Dammit Mello!" He cries, shutting his eyes and seeing - and hearing - Mello's moans and movements, and the feeling of Mello's lips beneath his…

</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>…</p>
</div><p>Mello travels slowly back to his room, done thinking where it's cold, and the sun isn't rising fast enough to change that. As he passes first Matt's, then Near's rooms, he smirks when he hears a loud sigh coming from the latter.

</p><p>He sees that Near left a note as well. Mello unfolds it, rolling his eyes and plopping down on his bed, not surprised when he sees that Near does, in fact, have loopy, pretty handwriting. Messy, which means he wrote this rushily, and not at all slowly, like he wanted to linger in his room. Good.

</p><p><i>Dear Mello,</i>

</p><p>Does he really have to add a tail at the end of "Mello", at the "o"? Well, maybe that's just how he writes.

</p><p>
  <i>Dear Mello,

</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I must say, you were right, I was cringing the whole time. But did I really snore loudly? I've always heard from everyone that I don't snore often, and if I do, then it's because I'm either not in my bed, or in an odd position. Well, my apologies.

</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I will try to not to, next time, but I would rather think I will. Maybe not entirely loudly, but maybe quieter? If there is a next time, of course.

</i>
</p><p>
  <i>There were some spots you could've sworn in still.

</i>
</p><p>
  <i>On with the chase shall we go? You may end it as soon as it began. Just tell me for sure absolutely no. And I'll be gone (yes is an option too). Well, thank you for taking the time to read this; sorry if it's not easily readable. I must go and clean my room now, as I'm sure I'm doing as you read this. Or not, I may be done.

</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I do not hate you.

</i>
</p><p><i>Near</i>

</p><p>Exceptional loops and twirls on his signature, though! Worthy enough to have been from a famous person. A damn celebrity. One of their fancy autographs.</p><p>Mello lies back on his bed, closing his eyes. When he hears a familiar voce say "Mello", he almost jumps, but manages to stay still. He opens his eyes slowly, and notices Near. He gets up to sit by his open window, where Near is leaning against, his gray eyes big and confused looking. The younger bites his lip, looking nervous.

</p><p>"D-do thoughts encourage actions in… things? In fact, do some of them force you to do what you hate to do just to…" he cringes slightly "…please your body?" Then he looks away and mumbles, "Mind that I didn't say 'pleasure', I said 'please'." Really he sounds like he's trying to convince himself.

</p><p>"Uh… sure? Like wha… ohhh. Yes. Definitely. Have fun." He smirks. Near grabs his wrist suddenly and leans closer until their faces are about an inch apart, and his eyelids drop low, his voice now more raspy and seductive, his normally childish features looking more older, like he's 17, like Mello, and not 16 (speaking of, Mello's birthday is the next one up, since Near turned 16 just last month… bye-bye summer).

</p><p>"It's only fun with you."

</p><p>And suddenly he's gone. <i>Fucking hell…</i> He scrambles back, his breath picking up. He can't help but roll his head back and curse when he realizes all of his blood is rushing down.

</p><p>"The fuck, Near."

</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>…</p>
</div><p>In his room, Near's sitting on his own bed with his knees tucked up to his chest, and his arms around them, twirling his hair frantically around one finger. <i>Confidence is a medium emotion. Not negative; not positive. To protect myself. Confidence isn't always good. Is it good now? Mello looked stunned. Is he okay? Oh, but if he talked to me like that…</i>

</p><p>Near unwillingly lets out a moan, but buries his face in his knees to stifle it.

</p><p><i>Maybe this is a good idea.</i> 

</p><p>He calms his erratic breathing, and starts slowly thinking about Mello, and his hot body, and his rough kisses, and his smirks, and words… these thoughts come faster, flashing easily through Near's mind, and making the heat build.

</p><p>He finally starts doing something when an echo of his own moans is heard from his open window, coming from the direction of Mello's window.

</p><p>He decides to focus on the feelings, the rush, not what he's doing with his hands.

</p><p>He's whimpering, feeling extremely ashamed of himself, although why he doesn't know. But oh… the feeling is intense. Pleasure and tension, but the good kind. Throbbing warmth. He bites his lip, trying to stem the whimpering and moans, so Mello can't hear him like he'd heard Mello.

</p><p>Too late, though; a short-breathed laugh comes from around that way.

</p><p>"Fuck," Near huffs, meaning Mello. Ohh… Mello fucking him… he squeezes his eyes shut as he comes to that thought. After, his eyes fly open, and he represses the urge to look down. Tears, tears that haven't come in a long, long time, come to his eyes, but he can't use his hands to wipe them, so he lets them fall. Luckily, though, they're not tears of a negative emotion. They're tears of excitement and relief.</p><p>"Never again," Near promises, "will I ever not do this. But never again… will I ever do this without Mello." He smiles.

</p>
<p>
  <i>Mello… the chase is on…</i>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Oh god xD This was so hilarious to write. I'd really like to hear feedback and what you think, and ideas because I am kinda stuck. Oof.</p><p>Did you notice the Dear Mello thing though? xD</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Is the Chase On or Off?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Mello." Near holds out a hand to the blonde, kneeling on the floor, facing away from him. A strange peal of laughter rises in his chest, and he barely knows it's coming, so it rips its way out. A hollow echo of that laughter comes from the figure in front of him, which snaps Near's attention back to him.

</p><p>"Are you… <i>amused?</i>" Mello asks, a sneer in his voice. "Amused by what you've done? Done to me…" On the last three words, his voice grows soft, almost kind, but Near isn't stupid. He hears the acid in his lover's - for he knows they're lovers - tone.

</p><p>"Wh-what did I do? Mells…"

</p><p>"DON'T. Pretend you're innocent. Are you that obsessive? That as soon as I tell you I love you, you must 'keep me'?" Another dead chuckle, and a slow shaking of the head, while Near stares on, his mouth opening and closing like a fish. "Shit, baby, I didn't know you were so emotional." Near shuffles closer, but recoils at the smell of burning flesh.

</p><p>"Mello…" he tries again, not able to say much else.

</p><p>"No! Near, baby, you don't know how much this hurts right now." Mello's head tilts towards the sky, and Near comes closer, ignoring the horrid stench. Finally, he sees it; half of his beloved's face, burned. Still… burning? No… but <i>shit.</i>

</p><p>Near's hands clench, his right around something small. He looks at it, confused, and gapes when he sees a lighter.</p><p>Memories of laughter, whispered "I love you"s, stifled screams, and pleading come back to him, along with flashes of real script and images. Mello nuzzling into Near's hair, whispering "Damn baby, I love you…"; Near laughing and making Mello kneel, then kneeling in front of him, and cupping the blonde's face in one hand while pulling the lighter - blue - out of a pocket, and saying "Now that you've said that, I must keep you. You're mine. So… just so you'll remember…"; Mello's beautiful eyes widening, saying "Near?" and while it's happening, him trying not to scream, and pleading with Near to "Please! Stop! Fuck… no, no, no! Sto-" and goddammit, Near kissing him on the side of hs mouth that isn't burning to shut him up.

</p><p>"Yeah, well, I still love you." Pale hands, paler than they should be, cup Near's face, bringing him back to now. "And I'm still yours." Near whimpers, looking into the fucked-up face that used to be beautiful, that used to be perfect. At least it still holds love. "Oh, shit, sorry, do you not love me anymore?" Mello sneers, twisting his marred features more. "Too late! 'Cause Near, Near, Near, this is what happens if you let your emotions control you…"

</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>…</p>
</div><p>"Fuuuck!" Near wails, waking up. Wait, waking up? That was  dream? He almost bursts out crying, but his emotions switch to inside his head only. Besides for his words. "Never, never, ever get rid of the Blank. Ever. Or you'll hurt him. Did you hurt him?" <i>What a detailed dream… nightmare.</i>

</p><p>He glances at the clocok. 7:57 A.M. Just in time to join them for breakfast again if he wishes. He wishes. And maybe just in time to catch Mello going out of his room.

</p><p>Yup. Just in time.

</p><p>"Mells! Shit, Mello, are you okay?" He runs to the unsuspecting blonde. "I'm so sorry!" Near reaches up on his tiptoes to kiss Mello gently, like the first time they kissed. "Never let me burn your face." He whispers, searching those blue eyes, which look dull and tired.

</p><p>"It's too early. Fucking kiss me later, please. I need coffee. And food." Mello just walks away, and Near supresses a whine.

</p><p>"Oh. Sorry, that looked hurtful." Comes a voice to the side of Near. Matt. Near sighs, turning to his crush's friend.

</p><p>"Matt, you need to stop being sorry for things you didn't do. And it's fine. He said I could kiss him later." Is he opening up to Matt? He is, apparently.</p><p>"Yeah, but by then he'll be awake. He may not want that. Going to breakfast?" Near nods. Matt falls into step beside him, chattering on about things that may not matter. Near suspects he's just enjoying being able to talk to Near for once. "You know, I wouldn't be surprised if Mello's close to giving up-"

</p><p>"What?" Near snaps his head to the side, his eyes wide. Matt shrinks back, laughing awkwardly and guiltily. "Matt?"

</p><p>"I shouldn't've been talking about that…" At Near's stern, blank, "I don't give a fuck" face, he sighs. "Alright. I said, when it comes to the chase, aas Mello puts it, Mello's getting tired. And then, I said 'you know, I wouldn't be surprised if Mello's close to giving up.' I seriously think your kisses are cconvincing him. But I haven't heard of any kisses that were consensual by the reciever." Back to chattering mindlessly. "Are you sure this is what <i>you</i> want? Mello is falling hard, but don't let that fool you. Later, he'll come back with something too hurtful to handle. Sometimes he gets clingy, so what if you can't do it anymore, but he starts 'the chase' again? This time with you running away?"

</p><p>All the conversation leads them down the stairs and to the table, where L's half asleep, Watari's not there, to which Matt says "After you and Mello both left, Watari said he'll be gone for a couple days, and he's relying on L to keep us together," and Mello's leaning against the wall, eyes half-lidded, and slurping - he must get that from L - what smells like coffee from a mug that says "Coffee first; talk later".

</p><p>Matt sits down at the chair he sat in the last time, taking out his PSP and humming along with the game's music. "At least you guys are here this morning. You missed yesterday. And dinner, but dinner has gone to hell with Watari gone. No one can cook." A pointed look at Mello.

</p><p>"I'm working on it." Mello snaps back. "But it's hard for me to learn when my teacher is gone." By this point, L's all the way asleep. Matt smiles and returns to his game. Mello's eyes, now more bright, drift to Near, who was staring at him awkwardly, biting his lip. "If I'm a wolf then you're a sheep." He stalks over. "White hair, white clothes… a little, weak thing, and something a wolf hunts down." Near's breath falters when Melo growls and snaps. It may not have done anything for someone else, but it arouses Near the tiniest bit.</p><p>"Take it outside, you animals," Matt raises a hand and points out the door. "I don't want blood to clean up when you're done." Near blushes, nodding, but looking away from Mello. Mello, in turn, steps back and starts drinking his coffee again. <i>Sheep…</i> Near muses, <i>I feel as if I should be hurt.</i>

</p><p><i>Hurt.</i> The dream flashes in his head once more. He winces.

</p><p>"Want some?" Near looks back at Mello, who's holding out his coffee cup. Near shakes his head but takes it anyway. Mello's hands don't leave it, so he comes close enough for the only space between them the cup. "Why did you shake your head?" He whispers.

</p><p>"I-I thought you'd say something like 'go make your own then'," Near admirs. Mello laughs. Near swallows hard, unsure of what's coming next.</p><p>"No, sheep," Mello purrs, leaning closer, and rasing the cup to Near's lips. When the taste hits Near's tongue, it's a burst of delicious flavors; coffee, sugar, hot chocolate, and Mello. "Like it?"

</p><p>"Tastes like you," Near says, feeling embarrassed. Mello laughs again. "I… I think I need food." He steps away from Mello's invisible hold and escapes to the kitchen. Grabbing the vanilla flavored Animal Crackers, he goes to the couch, curling up to eat them.

</p><p>So, Mello is breaking. Matt was right. But he's breaking in a different way than Near expected. A bit more… clingy? That and loving, seductive… and dominant. Which is probably him trying to regain some control. Allowable. Near finds he likes it. He likes the way Mello's breaking.

</p><p>"Mello?" He calls softly. Mello appears in the doorway, an eyebrow raised, and a smirk on his face. "C'mere." Near looks down, biting his lip again.</p><p>"Yes?" Mello settles on the couch next to him. Near doesn't say anything for now, instead holding out one of the crackers. He surprised when he feels Mello's mouth close around the tips of his fingers, and Mello's tongue darting out and licking them. That opens Near up a bit.

</p><p>"Did you mean the kissing thing before? You know, the later thing-" Mello kisses him, rolling his eyes the whole time. "Mello! Dammit." Near wraps him arms around Mello's shoulders, melting into the kiss.

</p><p>"Did that seal it for you?" Mello asks, pulling away with a wink. Near smiles, turning around to rest against the blonde's chest.

</p><p>"Indefinitely," Near murmurs, "but… does it mean anything? Is the chase still on?" Mello groans, his mucles tensing under Near. The vibrations rattle Near's teeth even, slightly.

</p><p>"Yes. Shit. No. Yes " Near turns around and kisses him again, his mouth movng softly against Mello's. "Near…" Mello mumbles in protest.</p><p>"If that doesn't help you decide, how about the fact that we've been kissing at least once every other day? Or… or the fact that <i>nothing will change</i> if you're with me? We'll still be us. But free to do whatever." Mello searches Near's eyes anxiously, so Near lets him  see honesty.

</p><p>"Okay. But, let me make it not so weird." He cups Near's face in his hands. "Near,"  he starts solemnly, "will you be my boyfriend?"

</p><p>"Yes," Near whispers, "but I think you made it weirder." Mello's face flushes, his eyes flashing. <i>Ice fire, </i> Near thinks. "Mello, calm down. I'd be happy to call you my boyfriend. Thank you for asking officially. Took you long enough. And these Animal Crackers are delicious. I think I must keep them."</p><p>"Ha! Watari bought them for you, actually. He insisted that it's what you would've wanted; had you been shopping with us." Near's face falls. <i>He</i> wants to go out… "Shit, what's wrong?"

</p><p>"I haven't been able to leave for a long time." Mello raises his eyebrows. "I don't really have any other clothes." <i>Besides my dress-up clothes.</i>

</p><p>"Dress-up clothes?" Near's mouth falls open. "Sorry, was I not supposed to hear that? I can disregard it."

</p><p>"No, you weren't. All I'm telling you is that it's real clothes, but things I just try on to try on and wear in my room only."

</p><p>"I've never been in your room. What does it look like?" <i>Only Watari knows. Not even L knows. You are definitely not going to know.</i> Near bites his lip for the exact count of two seconds.

</p><p>"It's messy right now. I hate it. But it looks like yours. I have a dresser, and a closet, and places to hang things, a couple tubs full of different things, dolls, puppets - the puppets and dolls are in the same tub, besides my finger puppets - card decks. A lot of card decks. But they're mostly the same deck, just different color backs. Only a couple are different back designs." Near rattles off all of what he has in it, but none of the things he doesn't want Mello to know. Or details of the room itself. Mello starts getting impatient, until he finally cuts Near off. Score.

</p><p>"Uh, yeah. So, maybe sometime I'll take you out. Like, late at night so no one'll judge you being in pajamas. Unless you'll go in your dress-up clothes. Or I suppose you could borrow an old shirt of mine? Or, hey! You could go out on L's birthday! It <i>is</i> Halloween. That's coming up. It's like, what, October?" Near purses his lips in amusement. "October 5th. See? Can we go to my room?"

</p><p>"Sure. And that means… 26 more days until his birthday. And then 43 after to yours. Plus twenty-six, equals sixty-nine." Mello was gaping, but once he hears the number, he smirks.

</p><p>"Sixty-nine," he snorts, "maybe I'll get lucky. Come on." He leads Near - who's puzzling over what he meant - up to his room. "So! Whadda you wanna do? It's a little early, just barely nine, but I'm sure we can think of something." <i>Dolls,</i> goes Near's head, <i>puppets,</i> it continues. He shoves it away, instead kissing Mello softly.

</p><p>"Anything Mello wishes," he murmurs.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Alright, alright! I do realize that my chapters have been getting shorter and shorter, and believe me, IT'S KILLING ME! So the next will be long, 'kay? Promise. If you have time, kudos and comment! Or if you've already kudos'd, just comment. xD</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. A Birthday for Halloween</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Mello!" Near hisses, poking the sleeping form next to him. "Melloooo!" He sighs, shakes his head, and gets into Mello's chocolate store, snatching one, unwrapping it, and promptly sticking it in his mouth, taking a bite. He scoots closer to the blonde and rests his head on Mello's chest.

</p><p>They had ended up actually talking. Fighting, truly. They decided to argue. Mello literally said, "I don't know anything to do with you besides yell, argue, and I suppose make out." So they sat on the floor, and you could say had a presidential debate. With less interrupting and more cordial manners.

</p><p>But Mello said he stayed up all night, thinking about Near, and what he'd said - Near secretly preened that he had such an effect on his darling Mello - so he barely got any sleep, and then Near took a much-needed shower while Mello slept. Now here Near is, lying on the bed, trying to tempt the knocked-out cold figure to wake up. He's bored. He needs entertainment. Something only Mello can provide.

</p><p>"Mmmm…" Near moans loudly, poking Mello again, this time in the shoulder. "This is the best chocolate I've ever tasted."

</p><p>"Hand it over," comes the sleepy grumble. Near allows himself a small smile.

</p><p>As decided during his shower, he's now on an emotion diet when it comes to Mello. He's gorged too much on the fact that he can let go. Now he has to let all of that go away. Like getting rid of weight after holiday sweets/fattening delicacies season.

</p><p>"You were sleeping. It's mine, Mellsie." Mello snorts. "Also, sometimes you can snore like an elephant, you know." With this one he has to purse his lips to keep from breaking out into a fond grin.</p><p>"Baby, if I sound like an elephant, you sound like a goddess." Near blinks rapidly, confused. Mello must've taken the silence to be confusion, rightfully so, because he explains. "When you moan you sound like heaven. I would say I learned that just now, but sadly, no. I learned that a bit ago. When you were touching yourself." Those exquisitely azure eyes meet Near's gray stormy ones, and Mello has a sneer, more like a leer on his face.

</p><p>"Yeah… but I thought you heard them before? My dream?" Mello shakes his head.

</p><p>"Not to their full, gorgeous extent. Hey, I have an idea… just a second." Mello turns onto his side, his back facing Near.

</p><p>After a moment of silence, a song starts coming through Mello's phone. One Near barely recognizes.

</p><p>"What… song is this?" Mello bursts out laughing.

</p><p>"God is a Woman, by Ariana Grande. 'You love the way I move, love the way I touch you, when all is said and done, you believe God is a woman.' I told you your moans were like heaven, an you sounded like a goddess. Well, here y'are." Near blushes furiously, but his face doesn't twitch an inch. Mello catches this fact, sighs, and turns off the song. "Don't let me upset you."

</p><p>"Mello, there is no way around it." Exasperation. Exasperation that wants to escape, but ha ha, it can't because of the Blank!

</p><p>Mello sighs, and nods. "Believe me, I know. You... you're so hard to explain." Near pouts, fluttering his eyelashes.

</p><p>"Mello, why would you ever try to explain me? I'm not to be explained. It's just not right." Mello rolls his eyes.

</p><p>"Annoying, seductive, sex queen. That's how I'd describe you in a nutshell." He grins evilly at Near's disappointed expression. "Very unexpectedly so." He winks now, and Near can't resist kissing him. Mello moans. "Shit... chocolate... give me that." He snatches the chocolate out of Near's hand and devours it in one bite. He then gets up and grabs a couple more. Near watches him, sitting with his legs spread out on either side of him, and his hands holding him up.</p><p>"I'll… I…" Mello partially unwraps one and holds it out for Near. "Thank you!" Shit. <i>Calm down.</i>

</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>…</p>
</div><p>Near gets up at around 5:00 A.M. on the day of Halloween, too excited to be asleep for long. He floats downstairs as fast as silence allows him, trying to hurry before anyone else gets up. When he makes it downstairs, he grabs a flashlight and starts going more down, down to the dreaded, dark, cobwebby basement.

</p><p>He basically finds the Halloween decoration tub, freaks out, yelps quietly, and begins dragging it back up with him, way too small to carry it. 

</p><p>Truly, he was very upset during the whole month of October, because no one bothered to decorate. It's his favorite holiday, and his mentor/kinda-big-brother's birthday. 

</p><p>When he makes it upstairs, he sits on the floor, opens the tub, and looks through everything, sorting them out. Window/mirror things, drapey, weird things that he has no name for, but are black and orange and very sparkly, a Happy Halloween hangy thing… he may not use that, instead switch it out for Happy Birthday, because come on, it's still L's birthday. Bats and pumpkins and several other decorations he can't explain or doesn't know the name of.

</p><p>He stands on chairs and stools, and once even the table, hanging things up, and putting other things down, placing them with care in the Halloween tub. He ends up using both the Happy Halloween and Happy Birthday thing, in two different hanging places. He puts the drapey things over doorways and wrapped around the banister of the stairs, around the railing, and really that's it. He puts a pumpkin/skull tablecloth on the table where they eat breakfast at.

</p><p>He knows he really doesn't have to put much birthday items out, because he knows Halloween is also L's favorite holiday, but he still insists on putting up balloon streamers next to the Halloween ones. He actually blows up real balloons, but uses markers to make then Halloween-themed.</p><p>At 6:30 A.M., Watari comes out and smiles at Near, getting coffee. Near hugs him quickly before continuing to make a spider out of glue, googly eyes, and black pipe-cleaners. He first makes a circle out of one pipe-cleaner, grabs eight more to wrap around and fashion as legs, makes a small ball of pipe-cleaner, and glues the googly eyes on. Four. Two small ones, and two larger ones.

</p><p>He puts that on the table, and makes another to do the same, and puts a pumpkin-shaped bowl in between them full of candy.

</p><p>"Watari, may you make sure no one eats that before or too soon after breakfast?" He asks, going into the kitchen where Watari is. Watari nods.

</p><p>"Of course, Near. This is very interesting. I like it. I like your creativity. Normally it's reduced to inside your room." Near looks down. Watari knows his room. He knows what it looks like. He knows what Near has in it.

</p><p>"Thank you," Near murmurs, and walks back upstairs, finally finished. He walks into his room and throws open his closet (which also has a lock with a separate key), looking through his clothes. The ones he normally doesn't wear… 

</p><p>Scissors, check. Needle and thread, check. Safety pins, check. More pipe cleaners, check. Several clothes, check.

</p><p>Near gets to work, ignoring all the sounds of everything else when everyone gets up slowly and figures out what he did.

</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>…</p>
</div><p>When Mello gets up, he has a strange feeling of giddiness and dread. He knows it's Halloween, which he only likes because of the chocolate, and the fact that it's L's birthday, but he knows nothing is going to happen. Now that he's too old to do anything, nothing ever happens.</p><p>Slowly, ever so slowly, he slides out of bed, shivering when the cold air hits him. He stumbles over to his closet and yanks it open, glaring at everything.

</p><p>He picks an all-black outfit, of course, but he chooses a black long-sleeved, loose shirt and black sweatpants, like he used to wear when he was younger.

</p><p>As before, he's too old to do anything. But at least he can make himself feel younger.</p><p>He rubs his eyes as he goes downstairs, yawning and stretching, which he really should've done right as he woke up.</p><p>"Hey, Mello!" Mello's startled out of his half-slumber that walking rhythmically down the stairs made him fall into. Matt's face enters his vision, grinning brightly, goggles perched on the top of his head. Mello frowns.

</p><p>"Hey, Matty, but how the hell are you up? You're so... always so late. You're the last one to get up." Matt doesn't even roll his eyes, instead grinning more.

</p><p>"Dude! It's L birthday! It's my job to be up! Besides, look at this place. Isn't it pretty?" <i>What?</i> Mello looks around, squinting as to try and get the blurriness out of his eyes.

</p><p>What he sees surprises him. The whole house looks like Halloween shit on its head. Decorations everywhere? <i>Wow. Watari must've worked his butt off.</i> 

</p><p>"Hello, Mello." L says, walking into the room, his hands in his pockets. "It never ceases to give me joy when I say that sentence."

</p><p>"It does rhyme very hilariously!" Matt pipes in. Mello scowls.

</p><p>"Happy birthday, jerk. The house looks amazing. The most Halloween-y I've ever seen it." L nods slowly, looking around as well.

</p><p>"Yes," he says (murmurs, more like), "Near did fabulously." That last part of the sentence makes Mello freeze, and suddenly he feels much, much more awake. His mouth opens, but he snaps it shut, not wanting to sound like an idiot when he inevitably begins stammering without a point. "Didn't he, Mello?" L's piercing gray eyes - not as dark or as pretty as Near's, but still okay - catch Mello's, and they have a scary look in them. All intense and questioning.

</p><p>"What is it with you two quizzing me and putting me under the spotlight all the time?" Mello growls, flopping on the couch next to his friend. His friend looks taken aback.

</p><p>"Who, me? I never do that! At least, most of the time." Mello rolls his eyes but playfully shoves Matt's shoulder with his to let him know that that's not who he meant.

</p><p>"No. He means me and Near. You've talked to Near recently? I've never seen you two together in a while. Not speaking, at least, when you are forced to be." L watches Mello curiously. Mello inwardly curses. He and Near had been doing so well… and now he accidentally fucked it up. Of course it was him who did so! Never Near, who doesn't deserve to always win. Near doesn't try to win, unlike Mello.</p><p>"Of course we have," Mello spits, "it's necessary sometimes. Like when he's bothering me. You never know because you're in your bedroom." L looks hurt.

</p><p>"Mello!" Matt hisses, elbowing Mello in the ribs. 

</p><p>"I have…" L looks away, seeming to try and find something to say, "tried to talk to him lately. May we not linger on this subject?" Mello looks down.

</p><p>"I'm sorry. Happy birthday, and happy Halloween. I hope you have a good day. I have to try and find Near. I mean, he did all of this." Okay, bad word choice. "Have" to? What is he doing? The blonde gets up and slips away, leaving Matt and L in the living room.

</p><p>He literally checks everywhere. Alright, maybe a slight exaggeration; he checks everywhere… besides Matt's bedroom. He checks his own, though. Who knows where the hell the little fucker will be. But he doesn't think to check Near's bedroom until the last minute. 

</p><p>"Oh!" He says, pointing a finger up at the ceiling, a lightbulb going off in his head. He's standing right in front of the middle door of his own bedroom, Near's, and Matt's, in that order. He swings around to face Near's bedroom door, and sits down, knowing that this'll take a second. 

</p><p>First, he knocks. No answer. "Near?" He asks tentatively. "Okay, I swear. I've checked everywhere. Don't tell me you died, or turned invisible or something." He knocks again.

</p><p>"Mello," the calm voice comes finally. Mello sighs, hanging his head, leaning it against the door. "I must confirm that I, in fact, have not died or turned invisible. By any standards." 

</p><p>"Good! Because then I couldn't see you or touch you. And trust me, you don't want that to happen. Especially not the latter." Near groans lightly.

</p><p>"Mello, you need to stop talking like that. It's annoying." Mello claps joyfully.

</p><p>"I annoy you! Hoorah! Happy Halloween to me!" Mello can imagine Near rolling his eyes at this point. "Anyway, are you coming out yet? I'm bored."

</p><p>"Already?" Near asks amusedly. Mello snorts. "Well. No. Later." <i>Ouch. That hurts. What a blatant refusal.</i>

</p><p>"Fine. I'll just be downstairs then." Mission failed. Kinda. Mello gets up and walks downstairs, all the while grumbling to himself, and trying to fix his face. By the time he gets downstairs, he's smirking widely, sauntering down. "I'm not answering questions." He cuts Matt off, holding a hand up as the other teenager opens his mouth. "But I will tell you one thing: he's not coming." 

</p><p>"Sad for you." Mello nearly chokes on his own spit. Did Matt just- yes, he did just turn Mello's words into a sexual joke.

</p><p>"Not really. I don't want him to come anyway, because there's no point to it." Matt raises an eyebrow.

</p><p>"No <i>point</i> to it?" Jesus Christ. He's winning.

</p><p>"Nope. No point to it. He just couldn't get up." They both burst into laughter, which makes an already confused L even more confused.

</p><p>"Near gets out of bed just fine, actually. He gets up before any of us do." Mello and Matt fall silent, look at L, and back at each other, when they begin laughing again. L's just adding to the fun.

</p><p>"No, I don't think so. Although Mello over here gets up way too quickly. At the slightest noise." Mello's mouth drops open. Matt gives him a shit-eating grin.</p><p>L looks up, putting an index finger up to his mouth. His pondering expression. "Yes. I do believe I've noticed that. Mello, you should probably do something about that." <i>How is he still saying the right things?</i> Mello wonders, <i>Does he know? He can't! There's no way!</i></p><p>"Well. I will, maybe. It's never been a problem before. It's always been beneficial to everyone else who also gets up quickly." He's desperately trying to save his ass. To win, for once.

</p><p>"Or you could leave everyone out of it and take care of yourself better." L smiles slightly. "I'm not that innocent, boys."

</p><p>"Ah ha!" Matt crows. "I had a suspicion." Mello shrugs.

</p><p>"Oh well." He watches Matt and L grab chocolate from the bowl, but refrains, instead glancing at the stairs consistently.

</p><p>"You okay dude?" Matt asks, mouth relatively full. Mello shrugs again.

</p><p>"Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry about it."</p><p>He doesn't know how long he keeps glancing over, waiting for Near, but at some point, his resolve weakens, his anger floods his system, and he takes a handful of chocolate because of it.

</p><p>"That more like it!" Matt exclaims, beaming up at him. Mello raises an eyebrow and briefly smiles back. He continues glancing.

</p><p>Finally, the smaller, white-haired genius appears, and if Mello had anything to spit out that wasn't chocolate, which is like glue, sticking them together, but he would have. Instead his mouth just drops open. 

</p><p>Near's wearing a white, soft turtleneck sweater, and the sleeves are down to the tips of his fingers, and it ends just past his butt. But the strangeness is not that he's wearing pipe-cleaner bunny ears, or that he has the furriest knee-high socks (that surprisingly don't fall down) that Mello has ever seen, or even that he tosses Mello a slight smile… but that he's wearing makeup and leggings. Fleece leggings. Yes, Near's wearing black mascara that somehow makes his eyes seem wider, which fits with the bunny act, and pretend whiskers, and a bunny nose. Yes, Near's wearing white fleece leggings that has some kind of embroidered pattern on the sides that face outward. It peeks out of the socks, and ends at his thighs.

</p><p>It gives Mello images of Near in a short dress, or shirt, long-sleeve, because it's hotter, that ends just barely past his ass. Like the sweater, which could work, and something up to his thighs. Like more long songs that don't have to be furry. Maybe heels, maybe not. It's just the thought that Near, male, would be in it, which is a strange thought, and a very hot thought to Mello.</p><p>Mello discreetly beckons Near to come over and sit on the section of couch he's standing behind. Near does exactly that. It draws both L and Matt's attention. L's eyes widen slightly, but he stays quiet, just processing the outfit. Matt's eyes also widen, but his mouth opens, just as Mello's did, and he laughs.

</p><p>"That's really cool!" Mello inwardly sighs. At least Matt didn't say anything stupid.

</p><p>"Thank you," Near murmurs, pulling his leg up to his chest, "I made it after putting up the decorations." Matt laughs again, looking Near up and down, as best as possible, with the small teenager being folded in on himself.

</p><p>"Well, you look like a sex bunny! Such a different look. I like it." Mello smacks his forehead with his palms. <i>And there goes that relief…</i> "What? Why are you all looking at me like that? Well, besides you, Near."

</p><p>"Matt." L sighs, standing up. "I require your presence in the kitchen. Come with me." Reluctantly, Matt follows, shooting Near a quick, mouthed "sorry."

</p><p>"I know. That's why I made it." Near finally speaks again. He isn't looking at Mello, still facing forward, beginning to twirl his hair. Mello gulps.

</p><p>"Which part?" Near's silent for a moment longer.

</p><p>"The main topic, the first part he said." Near turns around and climbs partially onto the back of the couch, wrapping his arms around Mello's neck. Mello blinks surprisedly, reminding himself about how spontaneous Near can be. "Do you like?"

</p><p>"Absolutely," it comes out breathy. They're both flustered, nervous, and embarrassed. Also giddy. <i>So these are a part of his dress-up clothes…?</i> Mello thinks.

</p><p>"Good. I made it for you." Near pouts, but stops almost immediately. Mello frowns, wanting to see more of it.

</p><p>"Really? I didn't notice. I thought you just did it for Halloween." There it goes again; Near's bottom lip pushes out all prettily and cutely.</p><p>"Of course I'll do things for you." He sticks out his tongue. Mello boops his nose, smirking.

</p><p>"I'm sure you can do many things for me." Near snorts, rolling his eyes.

</p><p>"Pervert." But he kisses the blonde anyway. Mello kisses back, pulling Near as close as possible, what with the couch back in between them.</p><p>Near pulls away with a huff. Mello nods sadly. Near turns around and sits on the couch back, leaning into Mello for balance, then turns to the side and props a leg up along the length of the couch. He pulls the sock down.

</p><p>"Do you see? The embroidery goes all the way to the end." He gives off an innocent, childlike, happy expression, which Mello doesn't notice, because he's too busy watching Near draw a finger up his thigh.</p><p>"Uh-huh… I see…" Near smiles slightly, pulls his sock back up, and gets off of the couch, going around it to kiss Mello briefly.

</p><p>"I'll be in the kitchen." He walks away. Mello flops on the couch, sideways, breathing heavily and staring at the ceiling. He doesn't know how much time has passed, but instead of how slow it went while waiting for Near to come downstairs, this time it goes fast. "Mello," Near calls softly. Mello jerks up, all sleepiness and haziness gone.  "Hey. You're okay. Sh. Nothing happened." Ha. He's still bad at comforting people. He probably always will be. Because his method for dealing with emotions is hiding them.

</p><p>Mello clears his throat to himself, frowning. He has to stop those trains of thought right when they happen. Which means he'll have to learn how to identify them.

</p><p>Mello stomps into the kitchen, but slows and whistles once he sees the fucking cake. Tall, strawberries and frosting adorning it… everywhere… 

</p><p>"It's delicious." Mello mumbles around cake in his mouth. Matt nods, still shoveling more. L is eating it with fervor, but somehow still calmly. Near is slowly taking little bites, setting his fork down and then picking it back up in rythmic, jerky motions. Mello watches him with a frown. "Watari did good…" Matt catches him watching Near and smiles secretively to himself.

</p><p>"What are you going to do for your birthday, L?" Near asks quietly, finally deciding to just set the fork down for good, still more than half of the cake on his plate. L immediately steals it after giving Near a suspicious, serious face.</p><p>"Watch Halloween specials." Matt whoops and laughs, rasing a fist into the air.

</p>
<p>"I'm here for that!" He exclaims.

</p>
<p>Mello clears his throat again. "Well, I do want to go out tonight. Anyone wanna go?" Immediately, Near nods. He forces his face to darken and not get brighter, and for him to scowl instead of smile, and sigh annoyedly. 

</p>
<p>"Nope. Good luck out there!" Matt chuckles. Mello lightly shoves him, smiling.

</p>
<p>"No. I prefer the instead. I thought Near would too… anyway, tonight, correct?"

</p>
<p>Mello nods. "Ugh. Well, then, it's just me and you, Near." He glares at the small, white-haired genius while in turn, Near smiles slightly back at him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Out</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hiiiiii! I have updated the tags!!!! Yay! Finally, amirite? They were just bothering me up there. Of course, this was my second work, so… how do I tag again? xD But, now I know a little better.</p><p>This is the 6th chapter, as you know, and even though it's long, it's really just filling in for later. For little things. </p><p>And thank all of you who have stuck by me, and the bookmarks and kudos and the comments! They all mean so much to me! I'm working on the final plans, so that's why the "Unhappy/Cliffhanger Ending" tag is up there. Sorry in advance…</p><p>In the next few chapters, we learn quite a bit about the main characters! And we get to meet Light finally, in the next.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"We really are going out tonight?"</p><p>"Yes, Near." Mello snorts, rolling his eyes, scrolling down on something he's reading on his phone, and taking a bite of his chocolate in his free hand. "Of course we are."

</p><p>"Such a multi-tasker…" Near murmurs, turning around, adorable-ass bunny ears waving slightly with the movement. Mello eyes the back of his head gently, smiling around the piece of chocolate in his mouth. Dark chocolate, of course. The best chocolate.

</p><p>Mello can just <i>feel</i> the excitement leaking out of Near with every glance around the room, every small twitch - which he does all the time; Mello just has never noticed his awkwardness in rooms even with people he knows - and every word. The small teenager is ecstatic. It's making Mello very soft for him. Matt would say, very dorkily, that he's whipped. Maybe he is.

</p><p>"Aight." Mello says, walking into the living room. L frowns up at him, mostly because of how ungrammatical that word is. "I'm getting out of here. It's time for the freaks to go outside. Oh, yeah, and the children, but, fuck it, they're the same thing." Matt chuckles, shaking his head. The reddish-brown haired boy is playing his game and watching TV, as well as paying attention to everyone in the room at the same time. If Near thinks that Mello's a multi-tasker with all of the simple, easy things he does at the same time, then Matt is quite a master.

</p><p>Near doesn't look at him. He just tilts his head ever-so-slightly to the side.</p><p>"Ready to get outta here, sheep? You'll fit right into the freaks." He's joking. Where they live is very peaceful. It's kinda annoying. Mello's the one for disruption. After all, he's very good at it, isn't he? 

</p><p>Near stands up now. Mello points at his socks. He pauses, blinking once. A sign of confusion.

</p><p>"You need shoes. Obviously." Near nods. "So…" Near doesn't move. "No. Oh my GOD." Mello snatches Near's forearm roughly, tugging him along, into the hallway. He's cringing like he doesn't want to touch Near, but really he's cringing because he doesn't like doing this to Near anymore.

</p><p>Once in the hallway, Mello makes his voice low, but keeps it venomous, so even though the others can't hear them, they can still hear the angry tone in his voice.

</p><p>"You need shoes, stupid!" Near leans against the wall. Mello puts his hands on either side of Near's face, and lowers himself so he can kiss him. Like it's an upright pushup with a reward each time he manages to do it. Normally he does situps, and the reward is chocolate.

</p><p>"I know. I am not stupid, Mello. I just have not gotten outside in quite a while. I don't know if I still have… shoes…" Near trails off, nibbling on his lip. Mello can't keep a huge, dumbass grin from spreading across his face.

</p><p>"Whatcha thinkin' about?" Mello whispers into Near's ear. Near shivers. And just shakes his head. 

</p><p>"Nothing, Mello."

</p><p>"Tell me. It's distracting you, and I need to get out of this stuffy house."

</p><p>"It's more like a mansion, you know." Near squints his eyes; a sign of amusement. "I'm thinking about where these came from." He pulls on his turtleneck sweater's bottom.</p><p>"Your 'dress-up clothes'?" Mello snickers. Near looks away. The blonde scowls and pushes himself backwards, landing against the opposite wall with his ankles crossed, as well as his arms.

</p><p>"You were supposed to forget about that." <i>Why does he have to be so goddamn sensitive? And actually, it'd be easier to handle if he didn't shut down when he gets upset.</i> "It's fine." This surprises Mello. Near doesn't normally move past it this easily. "I have shoes - boots, and… other things in my dress-up clothes."

</p><p>"Well, just get a random pair on. I really wanna get out of here…" Mello's pleading now. He doesn't like it at all. Near swiftly turns and runs upstairs. Not loudly at all. It's like he's flying.

</p><p>"Wait, just to warn you, they may look weird." Near adds, poking his head back out. Mello laughs, shaking his head.</p><p>"I'm used to that from you by now, to be honest." He waits, reading the same thing he was reading before on his phone.

</p><p>When Near comes back, Mello's eyes go directly to his footwear. He's wearing silver boots that go only a little under his sock's length. They have black buckles, which is the complete opposite from the black boots, silver buckles that normal people wear. This doesn't surprise him, just as most of the outfit didn't surprise Mello when he first saw it, but what does surprise Mello is the slight heels on them. And how actually kinda fucking cool they look. Especially on such a small person like Near. Of course, Near is wearing a little too much white and things close to that spectrum. As always. At least it's not pajamas.

</p><p>"Let's go then." Mello stomps back out to where the others are, waves, and exits, without acknowledging Matt's salute back, or L's waving of a fork that has a piece of cake on it.</p><p>When they go out, Mello shares that they actually have no destination. The sixteen-year-old shrugs and says that he doesn't care. 

</p><p>They just walk around until they find an empty, small spot where they can see the stars clearly. They sit on the ground, Mello leaning against a bench with no intention of sitting on it. Near leans into his chest, sitting in between his legs, but not quite on his lap. Doing that would probably lead to some things where they'd get yelled at.

</p><p>"We're hidden away from the people… living in goddamn Suburbia." Mello jokes. Near giggles and kisses him, having to turn around to do so. Mello smiles. "You're very unfair, you know," he jokes again, this time more lustfully and seductively, "in your hot little bunny outfit."

</p><p>"I know." Near responds confidently. Mello dips down to kiss him again, but something small inside him tells him not to, and the realization that this is NEAR hits him. He almost chokes/gags/dry heaves because of this. 

</p><p>He clears his throat. "I need to get my hair cut. It's really annoying. You should come with. Or…" he smirks; he knows Near would hate this, "…I could leave you here and find you after? Except it's really dark, so I don't know if I can."

</p><p>"No, I'll go." Near answers too quickly.</p><p>Ah, and score again, of course. Sometimes the little sheep - or, should he say, <i>bunny</i> - is too easy. If they stay together for a long enough time, Mello might lose his edge.

</p><p>Not that… not that he's hoping they break up or anything.

</p><p>This past month-ish has been one of the best times of his life. Definitely not his worst. And who knew how playful, and emotional Near could get? Of course, the younger male is a little too happy all the time… it's… unsettling. Makes him creepy. Like one time, Near was completely blank-faced, and then, as soon as L left the room, well…

</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>…</p>
</div><p>Near goes from sitting next to Mello on the couch, onto Mello in about two seconds flat. It surprises the blonde, who breathes out in a whoosh.

</p><p>"Hi…" Near purrs, smiling. Mello blinks, startled. Slowly, though, his face relaxes.

</p><p>"Hi." He responds. Near giggles quietly, and it sounds like a small bell chiming in Mello's ear.

</p><p>Near kisses his neck lightly, teasingly. Mello growls and pushes Near away gently, not aiming to hurt him, just get him away, so the blonde won't have to deal with thoughts circling Near all day long, which Mello has experienced before, and that's how he knows it'll happen.

</p><p>Near slips off of the couch, and there's no sadness or any upset emotion on his face, but blank for maybe the total of one second, and then back to smiling. That one creepy smile that scares Mello, but at the same time entices him.

</p><p>Then again, Mello is a fear-seeker. He loves scaring himself. So, maybe it isn't that weird that he likes that smile.

</p><p>"Sorry," Mello mumbles, not knowing how to make it up to the smaller teenager. 

</p><p>Near just beams up at him. "It's alright." He responds cheerfully.

</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>…</p>
</div><p>Mello shudders, pulling himself out of that memory. <i>Mmm yeah nope… it's too much sometimes.</i></p><p>They make it to the barber's shop closest, and as soon as Mello goes in, he immediately doesn't like the barber, who is a pretty big guy, he supposes. Already annoying. Seemingly stupid, and not worthy of manners or kindness.

</p><p>Mello scowls and pulls out a chocolate bar, feeling the need to taste the bittersweetness on his tongue, coating it… melting all across… (see, this is why he never stops eating chocolate. It's too addicting, even in thoughts.)

</p><p>"Will you stop staring, let's go." He snaps. In his peripheral vision, he can see Near tilt his head, which is the most reaction Mello will get out of the other boy while in the presence of a stranger. <i>Yeah yeah, I know I'm being rude, whatever,</i> he thinks, internally rolling his eyes. <i>But fine, I'll make some effort, bossy-pants.</i> He's sure he'd be able to get Near smiling, maybe giggling a little if he had actually said that out loud.</p><p>Mello puts on a winning smile, overly-sweet, and sits elegantly on a chair, tilting his head and fluttering his eyelashes. He's acting like he's some sort of princess, and he knows Near knows it; that's why he's doing it. 

</p><p>"I'm sorry," he says, voice only a couple ear-twitches and tail flicks away from meowing, "I didn't tell you… just a trim, to about my chin. Is that alright?"

</p><p>The barber finally gets moving, nodding hastily. Near drifts to the corner where he can watch, keeping eye contact with Mello, so the possessive older boy knows exactly where Near will be, and so Mello can know that Near knows that Mello's putting on a show.

</p><p>Mello licks his chocolate while staring at himself in the mirror, inwardly preening. As much as he's glad to see all that extra length go, he's still upset that any of his hair is being cut off.

</p><p>"Is that your boyfriend?" The barber asks, cutting off the last pat, completing Mello's bob, then motioning towards Near. <i>OH MY GOD, RUDE!</i> Mello's head yells.

</p><p>Mello spins around in the chair, slim eyebrows raising incredulously at the question. "Maybe. Why?" He says this snappishly, noting Near's increasing interest in a crack in the ceiling while twirling his hair.

</p><p>"Because of your hair… you licking the chocolate, and your actions…?" The blonde finally rolls his eyes outwardly. He can't believe that that supposes-to-be-answer was phrased as a question. See? He knew this guy was annoying.

</p><p>Mello finishes his chocolate, gets up, and shakes his hair out. "Ah! I missed when it would settle back around my face perfectly." Now he leans against the counter-thing and crosses his legs at the ankles. He holds the chocolate wrapper in two fingers in his right hand, and his wallet in the left. "So, you think I'm gay because of my hair, my chocolate-licking, and my actions?"

</p><p>To be fair, he's jumping to much more conclusions than implied when the barber answered his question with a question. He pretends to get more upset and turned his face towards Near - who's paying close attention now that he isn't the topic - to secretly wink at him.</p><p>"Well! You… are <i>absolutely right!</i>" He hands the barber more than the haircut costs, and leans forward and winks at the man, whispering, "And it's <i>my</i> chocolate, not <i>the</i> chocolate." Then he leans away and crumples the chocolate wrapper in his hand, eye twitching. "I can't believe you were right. Of course you were. Next time, your assumptions won't be so straight-on, NEAR." He can barely finish that before he's doubled over, laughing. He can't keep a straight face while… being his nornal, angry self. "Ex-except there's nothing straight about you…" he waves in the general direction of Near and wheezes. "I-I mean… pfffft…" 

</p><p>The barber's looking at him like he's lost his mind, and perhaps he has. Near darts over and nods slightly at the man, pulling Mello away. 

</p><p>"Because you're dating someone-" they exit the building, which causes Near to breathe a sigh of relief "-as gay as me…" Mello finishes. "Fuck, dude, that's a really-" Near kisses the blonde, tugging him close, and even when their bodies press flush against each other, he still keeps tugging.

</p><p>Mello plays with Near's hair while they kiss, stroking, twirling, and yanking slightly. 

</p><p>Near pulls away first, just as he initiated it in the first place. He takes one of Mello's hands, and they begin walking back home slowly. 

</p><p>"I don't like how you flirted with him," Near admits. Mello snorts. He can't believe that's what Near thinks he did with that stupid guy.

</p><p>"Eh, he's too old for me." Mello opens another chocolate bar wrapper. They walk silently home.

</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>…</p>
</div><p>Back at home, they part. It's not actually like they could walk upstairs together, or sit on the couch together. Near actually has a strange feeling that if they did either or these things, they'd stay in sync, and it'd seem like they're robots… Either way, they do these two things, apart.

</p><p>Mello walks upstairs without another word, not acknowledging his haircut, or the curious glances he gets from L and Matt. Near sits on the couch, in the corner, because L and Matt are still watching Halloween specials, which he never wanted to miss in the first place, but going out was much more enticing.

</p><p>Near looks up at L shyly, remembering the lack of time they've had together recently. And L is his idol, his mentor, his brother… he feels back for ignoring their bond. L is his confidante. He really misses spending time playing chess with L, or debating something, or helping with a case.

</p><p>Almost as if he can hear Near's thoughts, L moves one hand from off of his knee and begins twirling a lock of Near's hair without looking. Near keeps himself from smiling happily. L does this quite commonly, or at least, did. It's a symbol of their bond staying. What a beautiful thing.</p><p>With this, Near goes back to truly watching the show that's on. They watch the rest of this one, then another, and then Matt proclaims that it's time for presents.

</p><p>"Let's just hope Mello is still awake," Matt jokes. Near tilts his head to the side, eyes wide, this being his way to express his laughter. "If not, I'll wake him up!" Matt laughs evilly, rubbing his hands together the way you see villians do it in movies and comics. A loud thunk sounds from upstairs, and Near furrows his brow, wondering what Mello's doing. "I'll alert him to the situation!" Matt amends, still laughing evilly, continuing to rub his hands together.

</p><p>"Go ahead," L allows amusedly, finger still twirling in Near's hair. But before anyone can do anything, Mello appears, walking smugly out into their view. The blonde smacks Matt upside the head playfully as he passes. Matt huffs and goes to smack him back, but L makes a warning noise in the back of his throat.

</p><p>"You'd be a good father." Near murmurs. He freezes after he says this, realizing that what he just said is preposterous. He and L look at each other with the same, slightly-horrified expression, then they both smile slightly. "I mean, you're a good babysitter of us." 

</p><p>"Presents!" Mello demands impatiently. "I mean, I came down because I heard the word, let's go!" Matt pouts, crossing his arms. "You suggested it, come on!" The brunette sticks out his tongue and turns his face away. Mello begins grumbling, and he stomps over to Matt to tussle with him a bit, to make him stop being so stubborn. Meanwhile, Near turns to L, and L turns to Near.

</p><p>"Here," Near says quietly, offering L the present he got for the detective. L opens it quietly, to not alert the other two boys about what they're doing secretively. 

</p><p>It's a CD, but not one with songs. It only has music on it; calming music. Near thought it'd be good for when L's having trouble, and he needs the soothing noises to fill his head. Perhaps even if L wants to sleep. A rare occurance, but the CD isn't going anywhere, is it? 

</p><p>"Thank you, Near, I appreciate it." L smiles happily at Near. Near slides up close to L, mimicking his position, as the older male turns back to face Mello and Matt, now wrestling on the floor. Near leans against L, feeling content. His life is full of contentedness now, it seems. He's happy with what he has. He doesn't have those stupid nightmares anymore, although it still scares the hell out of him. Him… taking advantage of Mello…

</p><p>"Mellsies!" Near says in a more higher-pitched voice. The blonde, yes, Matt, and L all look at him surprisedly. Near pouts slightly, looking faux innocent at them. "Mellsies, give L your present." Okay, okay. He can't help but order Mello around, and see the result. It's a fun game, to see that Mello will do anything he asks. Sure enough, the blonde gets up and trudges over to L, glaring at Near the whole while. "You too, Matty."

</p><p>But don't they know he gets like this when he's stressed or extremely happy? He gets like <i>this,</i> not that he knows what "this" is. If only he knew, then he could put a label on it. Until then, there is no telling anyone else, because they wouldn't understand what he's talking about. For now, he says he gets bubbly.</p><p>"Oh? A journal?" L raises a barely-visible eyebrow at Mello's gift. Mello barely suppresses a snicker. Near knows that this is what he's doing because he's memorized what it looks like, since Mello does it a lot. "And a computer chip. Thank you both, they look fabulous." Near knows that L's still confused about the journal, though. "I think all of you should go to bed now. It's past one in the morning, so I feel that your bodies need as much rest as possible for tomorrow. I apologize for the lack of amazing varieties of candy and chocolates, but we can do that tomorrow. Hopefully that should give all of you as much energy as I have."

</p><p>Mello and Matt exchange incredulous glances, then burst into a flurry of refusals and nervous laughs. "Noo, no, no one can eat as much as you do…" they finally settle on that, saying it only slightly out of tune with each other. Fix a little lagging behind here, and a little speeding ahead there, they'd have said it in perfect symmetry.

</p><p>"Bed sounds good," Near yawns, squinting his eyes shut. He knows they're all staring, as they always do when he yawns. Mello's told him that he looks cute when he yawns, and he's sure that it's much cuter since he looks like a bunny. Oh, yes, speaking of… "But first I suppose I should change into my pajamas. Mell…" he almost falls asleep in the middle of his sentence, but forces himself upright. "Mello, I appreciate the night out."

</p><p>Mello gives him a noise of dismissal. Near shrugs and stands up, turning towards L and giving him a hug. It forces the detective to let his legs down from tucked up to the chest, but he recovers and hugs back.

</p><p>"Mello, Matt, don't you dare stay up." L commands, over Near's shoulder. The other boys murmur reluctant acceptance.

</p><p>The three trudge upstairs, all parting to their own rooms. Near can hear when both of them flop on their beds loudly with a groan. He himself doesn't lie down, but instead crawls out his window to get onto the balcony. He stares at the stars, and the small swirls of a navy blue amidst a seemingly black night. He also sees a maroon, as it appears. But the stars… the stars suggest bright things, all twinkly and pretty.

</p><p>Near then sends a kiss out to his future, kissing two of his fingers on his left hand lightly, and then blowing. He wishes his future luck, all while tilting his head and twirling his hair.

</p><p>Afterward, he crawls back into his room and falls soundly asleep, lulled by the sound of his own breathing.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for reading, and sorry about the long rambling up there. xD In the beginning note. I'm sorry about the long breaks between posting, but I'm trying to get things done and square time out of my week to write. At least I can still plot!</p><p>Kudos and comments and such (feedback and constructive criticism included! Never feel bad to point anything out!) are always appreciated! ^3^</p><p>HAPPY EASTER!!!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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